How Wives Ought to Respect Their Husbands – Ephesians 5.32-33

We’re on our fourth message in our Marriage & Family Series, and the title of this morning’s sermon is,“How Wives Ought to Respect Their Husbands.” This will be very comparable w/ two previous sermons, “How Husbands Ought to Love Their Wives.”

Each week I want to begin by reviewing the foundation we established for this series as I think it’s important to keep these things in mind…

LESSON 1: AS WE BEGIN, MAKE THE DECISION TO:

· PART I: FOCUS ON YOUR WEAKNESSES MORE THAN YOUR SPOUSE’S

(PART II) AND TURN YOUR FRUSTRATIONS INTO PRAYER.

· PART III: TRUST THE HOLY SPIRIT TO WORK (PART IV) WITH YOU.

  • PART V: REMEMBER LISTENING IS NOT ENOUGH.
  • PART VI: EMBRACE THE STRUGGLE (PART VII) BECAUSE OF WHAT IT PRODUCES.

32
This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

In the Bible the word mystery refers to something that was previously hidden but is later revealed. The mystery being
referred to in this verse is that marriage began creation, but when Christ came and the church was established, it was revealed that marriage was actu ally a picture of Christ and the church. That was completely unknown or hidden throughout the OT for 4,000 yrs – it
was a mystery – but the New Testament revealed that marriage is also a picture of Jesus and His Bride, the Church.

33

Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Now verse 33 is connected to verse 32: in verse 32 Paul said marriage is a picture of Christ and the church; therefore, husbands are to be to their wives
what Christ is to the church and wives are to be to their husbands what the church is supposed to be to Christ.

· Since Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her, husbands should love their wives and give themselves for them.

· Since the church is to respect Christ and submit to Him, wives are to respect their husbands and submit to them.

We spent weeks looking at verses 25 to 31 about husbands loving their wives and making them the supreme relationship in their lives after their
relationships w/ Christ. Now we’re going to be talking about wives and their responsibilities toward their husbands.

This sermon will be about wives respecting their husbands and in the future we’ll talk about wives submitting to their husbands. I want to briefly
differentiate between the two:

· Respect deals w/ how you feel about your husband and how you treat him.

· Submission deals w/ how you respond to your husband when you disagree w/ him. It wouldn’t be too much to say submission is specifically in place for when
wives disagree w/ their husbands. If wives always agreed w/ their husbands, submission would never be needed.

Hopefully you feel like I did my best to be faithful to Scripture regarding the husband’s role, and now I’ll try to be equally faithful to Scripture
regarding the wife’s role.

And a few reminders for the single people:

· Single ladies, I hope this sermon encourages you to look for a man you can respect.

· Single guys, I hope this sermon encourages you to become men your wives can respect, and I hope it encourages you to look for wives that will respect
you.

LESSON 2: HUSBANDS MUST FEEL LIKE THEIR WIVES RESPECT THEM.

Last week’s sermon was titled, “The Bride’s Supremacy.” Lesson 2 – which really captured the theme of the message – was, “WIVES MUST FEEL LIKE THE
SUPREME RELATIONSHIP IN THEIR HUSBAND’S LIFE.” This is the parallel lesson: HUSBANDS MUST FEEL LIKE THEIR WIVES RESPECT THEM.

Because most of us are pretty familiar w/ these verses, we lose some of the impact of what verse 33 is saying. So let me try to establish what we would
EXPECT it to say if we weren’t so familiar w/ it…

Paul just finished commanding husbands to love their wives, so you would expect verse 33 to say Let each one of you in particular love his own wife as himself, and let the wife love her husband as herself. That’s what you’d expect the
verse to say, but notice it doesn’t say anything about wives loving their husbands. Even though husbands are commanded to love their wives, wives are not
commanded to love their husbands.

Now before we go any further, let me make an important point…

I’m not saying men don’t want to be loved and I’m not saying women don’t want to be respected. Men want to be loved and women want to be respected, and
there are verses in the NT where wives are commanded to love their husbands and husbands are commanded to honor or respect their wives:

  • In Titus 2:3-5 Older women are commanded to teach younger women to LOVE THEIR HUSBANDS. It’s important for husbands
    to be loved by their wives.
  • 1 Peter 3:7
    Husbands, likewise, dwell with [your wives] with understanding, GIVING HONOR TO [THEM].
    Some Bibles translate honor as respect. It’s important for wives to be respected.

So the point is not that husbands don’t want to be loved and wives don’t want to be respected. The point is between the two, between love and respect:

· Respect is more important to husbands. Husbands want to be loved, but more than that they want to be respected.

· And love is more important to wives. Wives want to be respected, but more than that they want to be loved.

Consider this…

· Most wives like cards or phone calls or e-mails or flowers from their husbands communicating their love for them.

· BUT while most husbands might appreciate a phone call or card or e-mail from their wives saying how much they love them, what they desire even more is
their wives’ respect.

· I don’t need my wife to buy me flowers. I don’t need her to call me during the day and tell me she loves me. I don’t need her to write me poetry. But I
need her to support me, trust me and respect me.

If you think of wives’ frustration toward their husbands, it usually sounds like:

  • “I don’t feel like my husband loves me.”
  • “I wish my husband loved me more.”
  • “He never tells me he loves me.”

But if you think of husbands’ frustrations w/ their wives, it usually sounds like:

  • “I wish my wife respected me more.”
  • “I wish my wife followed my lead.”
  • “I wish my wife supported my decisions.”

We’ve talked extensively about husbands loving their wives, and it’s equally important for wives to know one of the greatest gifts they can give their
husbands is respect. The truth is this:

· It’s much easier for a wife to say, “I love you” than it is for her to show that through respect.

· It wouldn’t be too much to say a woman expresses her love for her husband by respecting him.

· If a wife says she loves her husband but doesn’t respect him, he won’t feel loved.

A good perspective for husbands and wives to keep in mind is this:

· As painful as it is for a woman to feel unloved is how painful it is for a man to feel disrespected.

· As painful as it is for a man to feel disrespected is how painful it is for women to feel unloved.

—-

And research supports all this; research supports what God’s Word says…

Dr. Emerson Eggerichs (pr: egg-uh-rich) wrote a well-known book called Love and Respect. In my mind he seems to be the foremost researcher on the
subject and I’m going to share some of the statistics he found about husbands and wives:

  • He asked 400 men: “If you were forced to choose, would you prefer to feel alone and unloved or disrespected and inadequate?” 74% of men said
    they would rather feel alone and unloved than disrespected and inadequate (p. 49). In other words, 74% of men said respect was more important to them
    than love.

· He conducted the same test on woman and found a similar percentage of women who said they would rather feel disrespected and inadequate than alone and
unloved. In other words, women said it was more important to feel loved than respected.

  • Dr. Eggerichs said based on this data, [A wife] needs love just as she needs air to breathe [and a husband] needs respect just as he needs air to breathe” (p. 37).
  • In another survey they asked 7,000 people: “When you are in a conflict with your spouse, do you feel unloved or disrespected?”

o 83% of the men said, “disrespected.”

o 72% of the women said, “unloved.”

o The point is during marriage conflicts husbands often react when they feel disrespected and wives react when they feel unloved.

—-

Now let me remind all of us of something…

If God is going to command wives to respect their husbands, what is the world going to do?:

· It’s going to do everything it can to make men look like they shouldn’t be respected.

· It’s going to do everything it can to encourage wives to disrespect their husbands

And the world does this very well. Whether it’s commercials or television shows or books or general counsel from women:

· Husbands are regularly made to look incompetent and inept.

· Husbands are made to look bumbling and foolish.

· A common theme is women have to take matters into their own hands, b/c there’s no way they could trust their husbands to do what needs to be done.

So wives need to remember when they disrespect their husbands they’re supporting the world’s agenda instead of God’s agenda.

Now the obvious question is, “What does it look like for wives to respect their husbands?” I want to answer this two ways:

1. I’d like to discuss what it looks like for wives to respect their husbands.

2. And I’d like to discuss what it looks like for wives to disrespect their husbands.

Respecting your husband means…

  • Admiring your husband.
  • Looking up to your husband.
  • Holding your husband in high regard.
  • Supporting him and being his biggest encourager.

A wife respects her husband by:

  • Considering how hard he works to take care of his family.
  • Considering the sacrifices he makes to be a good father and husband.

The Amplified Bible received its name b/c it amplifies the Greek; it takes Greek words that are not captured well in English and provides synonyms and
explanations that allow you to better understand the original language. I want to read Eph 5:33 in the Amplified…and ladies let me tell
you ahead of time if you have a problem w/ this translation, you’ll have to take it up w/ the individuals who translated the Amplified:

Let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and
esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly.

And we’re done…that is the end of the sermon!

Conversely, a wife disrespects her husband when she’s regularly discontent w/ her life, her home, her family; a wife who’s regularly unsatisfied makes her
husband feel like a failure…b/c he’s the one providing these things for his family:

  • Few attitudes communicate respect more than thankfulness

· And few attitudes communicate disrespect more than a lack of thankfulness and appreciation.

A wife also disrespects her husband by:

  • Talking down to him.

· Treating him like a child; making him feel like he’s a little boy that’s in trouble.

  • Interrupting him and talking over him.

· Rolling her eyes, huffing and puffing, wagging her finger at him.

· Hiding things from him. Two become one and hiding things breaks the union God intended, but it also communicates a wife has no respect for her husband’s
position as the head of the household.

Wives respect their husbands by being wives their husbands can trust. Let me share a few verses w/ you from Proverbs 31 about the virtuous
wife:

  • Pro 31:11 The heart of her husband safely trusts her.
    He trusts her b/c:

o He knows she respects him.

o He knows she won’t hide anything from him.

  • Pro 31:12
    [the virtuous wife] does him good and not evil all the days of her life.
    This she protects his name and reputation:

o This means she doesn’t slander him or talk bad about him behind his back.

o This also means when her husband is away she acts in a way that would please him as if he was there.

  • Pro 31:23 Her husband is [respected] in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.
    Does it seem odd that it’s praising the husband in the virtuous wife passage? What does him being respected in the gates and sitting among the elders have to do w/ her being a virtuous wife? I think the point is:

o There’s no way he’d be respected and sitting among the elders if he had a wife who was talking bad about him behind his back.

o A wife who slanders her husband will never have a husband who’s a leader in the church or the community, b/c she’ll have a husband nobody respects b/c of
the way she’s torn him down.

o It’s a credit to the virtuous wife that her husband is respected and sits among the elders b/c he wouldn’t be there w/o her!

A wife also disrespects her husband by telling “funny” stories about his inability to do things or she shares how many times it took him to fix something.

A wife terribly disrespects her husband when she talks bad about him to the children:

· It’s especially important for wives to know they destroy their husband’s credibility w/ their children when they disagree w/ him, correct him, talk down
to him or belittle him in front of the children.

· Ladies, when you disagree with your husband – which will understandably happen – talk to him about it in private. There’s absolutely nothing wrong w/
disagreeing w/ your husband, but there can be something w/ how you respond when you disagree.

What wives should strive to do is let others – especially their children – hear about their husband’s best qualities. And here’s the truth: as a wife does
this…

  • As a wife looks for her husbands’ best qualities…
  • As a wife focuses on her husbands’ strengths…
  • As a wife speaks well of her husband to others…
  • As a wife praises her husband to her children…

Guess what will happen? She will find her respect for her husband growing!

But if she talks bad about her husband to others or to the children she will find her respect for her husband disappearing. There’s a time and place for
wives to share their concerns and frustrations about their husbands and that’s in the context of biblical counseling.

—-

Even when wives respect their husbands, they send their husbands the opposite message when they:

· Question every decision he makes.

  • Second-guess everything he says

· Offer all the reasons he’s wrong.

  • Constantly correct him.
  • Chop him off at the knees when he makes a decision.

When I mention wives second-guessing or questioning their husbands, here’s what I’m NOT saying:

· I’m not saying wives can’t disagree w/ their husbands.

· I’m not saying wives can’t question their husbands.

· When we talk about wives being their husbands’ helpers – as it says in Gen 2:18 – we’ll talk about how husbands who doesn’t listen to their wives are
ignoring the greatest resource God’s given them along w/ His Word and the Holy Spirit…and that’s their wives.

· I hope it’s obvious from my relationship w/ Katie how much I value her insight, wisdom and counsel. I would never consider making any serious decisions
w/o hearing her thoughts.

But here’s what else I’m saying…

There’s a very difficult balance to strike here, so let me just throw out some cautions:

· Sometimes when wives think they’re being helpful, when they think they’re offering a more fitting solution:

o Sometimes they really are being helpful.

o Sometimes they really are offering a more fitting solution.

o But other times their actions scream:

§ I don’t trust you.

§ You don’t know what you’re doing.

§ I could do this better.

o It usually sounds like:

§ Why are you doing it that way?

§ What were you thinking?

§ Didn’t I tell you to do this instead?

§ Did you really think that was going to work?

Sometimes, “I’m just trying to help” doesn’t actually help…it just makes husbands feel disrespected when they’re wives are constantly questioning
them and correcting them.

Ladies, you’re going to have to learn your husbands:

· There are some things Katie knows I find very disrespectful that some men might find helpful.

· Similarly, there are some things Katie does that I find very helpful that some men might find disrespectful:

o For example, during sermons Katie will signal for me to slow down or not say certain things.

o I appreciate this, while some men might think it’s disrespectful.

LESSON 3: WIVES CAN LOVE THEIR HUSBANDS WITHOUT RESPECTING THEM.

Now unfortunately there are plenty of men walking around feeling loved by their wives, but not respected by them. I can’t think of a husband I’ve ever
spoken w/ who said he felt like his wife didn’t love him, but I’ve spoken w/ plenty of husbands who felt like their wives didn’t respect them.

Now there is a PERFECT PICTURE in Scripture of a woman who loved her husband but didn’t respect him. The picture is SO PERFECT, listen to this:

  • She is the ONLY woman in Scripture said to love her husband!

· And amazingly, she also put on what I consider to be the strongest display of disrespect in Scripture toward a husband.

Any guesses?

Please listen to this verse: 1 Sam 18:20 Michal, Saul’s daughter, loved David. There you have it: under the inspiration
of the Holy Spirit you’re told Michal loved David. Michal has the unique distinction of being the ONLY woman in Scripture having a verse saying she loved
her husband. You can think of the most prominent women in the Bible and there’s no verse saying any of them loved their husbands:

· Not Sarah w/ Abraham.

· Not Rebekah w/ Isaac.

· Not Rachel w/ Jacob.

· Not Ruth w/ Boaz.

· Not Mary w/ Joseph.

· And there are plenty of other examples I could give you.

Now it’s not to say these wives didn’t love their husbands – I’m sure there were plenty of wives in Scripture who loved their husbands – but it’s never
emphasized. And why is that? I admit I’m being a little speculative, but here’s what I think…

First, it’s much easier for wives to love their husbands than respect them…but the second and probably more important reason is there’s something more
important for women to do than love their husbands…and that’s respect them…so that’s what Scripture emphasizes.

In the New Testament, who is the woman set down as the example for wives? Even though Michal is the woman who LOVED her husband it’s not her: it’s Sarah.
There are more verses about Sarah than any other woman in Scripture, and none of those verses mention her loving Abraham. My point in telling you that is
she clearly isn’t set down in Scripture as the example for wives to learn from b/c of her love for her husband. Instead, this is what it says made her the
example for wives:

1 Pet 3:5 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.

It’s not Sarah’s love for Abraham that made her the example for wives: it’s her submission and respect.

Now even though Michal is the wife who loved her husband, why isn’t she praised? Please turn to 2 Samuel 6 and I’ll show you.

Here’s the context…

David has recently become king, and one of his first actions was bringing the ark into Jerusalem, his capital. The first time he tried, it was a disaster:
Uzzah touched the ark and died. David tried to bring the ark in a second time and was successful. It was probably the most joyful moment of David’s life. I
say that b/c there’s no other recorded instance of him celebrating like he did when the ark was successfully transported.

But unfortunately David’s joy was ruined…and it was ruined by his wife…

16
Now as the ark of the
Lord
came into the City of David, Michal, Saul’s daughter, looked through a window and saw King David leaping and whirling before the
Lord
;
(See, I told you he was happy: he was leaping and whirling. That’s excited! But now listen to this…) and she (this is
Michal) despised him in her heart.

Michal didn’t like David, the king of Israel, doing what she considered to be very embarrassing. She’s the king’s wife, so she becomes furious w/ him for
acting like this. Remember she’s Saul’s daughter, so she grew up w/ a father that would never do this! Saul was all about appearances and not substance,
and unfortunately that rubbed off on Michal. She thought it was WAY below a king to act like this, even if David was acting this way for the Lord.

Now skip to verse 20…

20a
Then David returned to bless his household.

David was happy and he wanted to return home and share some of that joy w/ his family, but…

20b
And Michal the daughter of Saul came out to meet David,

She couldn’t even wait until he got in the house; she had to run out and confront him, that’s how mad she was.

You almost picture a mother coming out to discipline a child and give him some lecture about his behavior.

So ladies, are any of you like this?

· Do you pounce on your husband when he does something wrong?

· Do you make him feel like a little boy who’s in trouble?

· Do you chastise him like Michal is about to do?

20c

and said, “How glorious was the king of Israel today, uncovering himself today in the eyes of the maids of his servants, as one of the base fellows
shamelessly uncovers himself!”

Michal mocked David. She ridiculed him. You can hear the scorn and disrespect in her words.

21
So David said to Michal,

“I know you love me because 1 Sam 18:20 says so…so it’s okay when you treat me like this. It really doesn’t bother me, because I know how much you love
me. I don’t really need your respect, I just need your love.”

Now just to let you know before we read what David actually said, Michal wasn’t the only person wrong in this situation. David is not going to respond
loving or gently toward his wife!

21
So David said to Michal, “It was before the
Lord
,
(now notice this…) who chose me instead of your father and all his house, to appoint me ruler over the people of the Lord, over Israel. (David even made sure to point out that God chose him over her father Saul!!!)Therefore I will play music before the Lord. 22a And I will be even more undignified than this, and will be humble in my own sight (Basically he says,“You think this is bad? I’ll act way worse than this!”) But as for the maidservants of whom you have spoken, by them I will be held in honor.”

You can circle the words held in honor and write the word “respect.” This is probably one of the simplest and clearest
definitions of respect in the Bible: holding in honor.

David said that even if Michal doesn’t respect him, she can be sure plenty of other women do. That’s like saying, “You might not like what I did, but there are plenty of other women who were impressed.”

Now here are the 3 reasons we’re looking at this:

1. First, ladies, this gives you an example of how not to treat your husbands.

2. Second, gentlemen, this gives you an example of how not to treat your wives.

3. Third, and most importantly, this shows how women can love their husbands w/o respecting them.

Ladies, please do not think loving your husband is the same as respecting him. The fact is you love your husband BY respecting him; you manifest your love
for your husband by respecting him. If you don’t respect your husband he won’t feel loved.

If we take 2 Samuel 6 as an example, I can tell you Michal might have loved David at this moment, but he sure didn’t feel loved b/c of the the way she was
disrespecting him.

—-

Now here’s something else I want you to see too. Please look at verse 23…

23
Therefore Michal the daughter of Saul had no children to the day of her death.

LESSON 4: DISRESPECT CAN CHANGE YOUR HUSBAND’S FEELINGS TOWARD YOU.

I take verse 23 to mean David no longer had relations w/ Michal. Now let me be clear about a few things:

· I am not defending David’s actions.

· I think he was at fault too.

· This was as much a low point for him as it was for Michal.

· I’ve said husbands are supposed to love their wives unconditionally – that’s what agapaō means – and David definitely didn’t do that.

· When a husband wants to be cruel to his wife, all he really needs to do is neglect her:

o In fact, that’s how some men CHOOSE to be cruel to their wives, and that’s what David did w/ Michal.

o It’s as bad for husbands to punish their wives like David punished Michal as it is for wives to disrespect their husbands like Michal disrespected David.

  • Youngblood said, “David’s treatment of Michal is less than exemplary.
  • Atler said, “

    His domestic wrongs can’t be justified, and the anointed monarch of Israel may still be a harsh and unfeeling husband to the woman who has loved
    him and saved his life

    .”

So hopefully I’m perfectly clear that I’m not defending David’s behavior…but I want you to see how dramatically this one event changed David’s relationship
w/ Michal.

I don’t want to throw out too many names, so I’m going to ask you to please listen carefully as I show you something important…

Michal was Saul’s daughter. When Saul became jealous of David, he took Michal and gave her to another man.

Saul had a general named Abner that defected and wanted to join David. David told Abner he could join him under one condition: he had to get his wife
Michal back for him. Look at 2 Sam 3:12

Then Abner sent messengers on his behalf to David, saying, “Whose is the land?” saying also, “Make your covenant with me, and indeed
my hand shall be with you to bring all Israel to you.”

David isn’t king over Israel yet, and Abner offers to help make him king over all Israel. That would be a pretty wonderful offer for David
to hear after waiting almost 20 yrs to be king.

13

And David said, “Good, I will make a covenant with you. But one thing I require of you: you shall not see my face unless you first bring
Michal, Saul’s daughter, when you come to see my face.”

So David said, “You can’t join me unless you bring me Michal!”

Now here’s why I’m telling you this…

David wants nothing to do w/ Michal at the end of 2 Sam 6, but there was a time when David really wanted Michal; there was a time he really missed having
her as his wife…and it was only a couple chapters earlier! He loved her so much he said the only way Abner could join him was if he got Michal back for
him.

But when Michal disrespected David like this, he lost all interest in her! He resented her. It wasn’t right, but it’s true.

And I’ll tell you this: when husbands are strongly disrespected by their wives…

· They begin to resent their wives.

· They begin to distance themselves from them.

· They begin to want nothing to do w/ them.

It’s not right, but it’s true.

A wife can be so disrespectful to her husband, it can change the way he feels about her. We’ve talked extensively about husbands loving their wives, and
wives can treat their husbands in such a disrespectful way, that the husband will start to feel like David did toward Michal.

Now if you look back at LESSON 2 it says: HUSBANDS MUST FEEL LIKE THEIR WIVES RESPECT THEM.

Last week the lesson was, “WIVES MUST FEEL LIKE THE SUPREME RELATIONSHIP IN THEIR HUSBANDS’ LIFE.” If you were here last week, what I’m about to say
is going to sound very similar, b/c what I said to husbands last week I want to say to wives this week.

If you remember last week’s lesson I said I deliberated worded it the way I did for a reason…and I’m doing the same this week: I said, “HUSBANDS MUST FEEL
LIKE THEIR WIVES RESPECT THEM”, instead of saying, “WIVES MUST RESPECT THEIR HUSBANDS” because…

  • If I say, “Wives must respect their husbands” a wife can say, “I do respect him!” but the husband might disagree; he might not feel
    respected.
  • But if I say, “A husband must FEEL like his wife respects him,” it’s about how her husband FEELS and not about what the wife thinks.

We can all imagine situations – or maybe we don’t even have to imagine them b/c we’ve witnessed them or are experiencing them…

  • Where a husband says: “I don’t feel like you respect me.”
  • But the wife says, “That’s not true. Of course I respect you.”

So wives, I want to ask you to do the exact same thing I asked your husbands to do last week…

Go home and ask your husbands, “Do YOU FEEL like I respect you? If you don’t, what am I doing that makes you feel disrespected? What can I do to make you feel respected?”

And wives let me tell you what NOT TO DO and then let me tell you what TO DO…just like I did w/ your husbands last week:

· If your husband says he feels disrespected, DO NOT start arguing w/ him about how you really do respect him:

o Don’t tell him he’s wrong.

o Don’t try to talk him out of the way he feels.

o Don’t try to convince him you really do respect him if he feels like you don’t.

  • Instead, show him you respect him:

o Stop doing things he says make him feel disrespected.

o And start doing the things he says will make him feel respected.

Now wives let me say one more thing to you…

Over the last few weeks I’ve told your husbands they’re commanded to love you even when they don’t feel like it. The same is true for you: you’re commanded
to respect your husband even when you don’t feel like it. You want your husband to love you when he doesn’t feel like it, and he wants you to respect him
when you don’t feel like it.

For husbands and wives, we all need to remember the moment any marriage becomes conditional

  • The moment the husband says, “I’m not going to love my wife b/c she…”
  • And the moment the wife says, “I’m not going to respect my husband b/c he…”

That’s the moment the marriage goes south; that’s the moment marriage becomes miserable.

LESSON 5: HUSBANDS CAN MAKE RESPECTING THEM EASIER.

My sermon on September 14th was titled, “How Husbands Ought to Love Their Wives – Part I.” Lesson 3 was, “WIVES CAN MAKE LOVING THEM
EASIER.” This is the parallel lesson for husbands…

When we started this series I said one of the reasons we wanted to keep husbands and wives together – as opposed to splitting up and covering this during
SS – is the commands for husbands and wives are very intertwined:

· Husbands are commanded to love their wives, but we said wives can make loving them easier.

· Wives are commanded to respect their husbands, so we also have to point out how husbands can make respecting them easier.

Now husbands, I want to be honest – I don’t know if this will apply to you or not – but there might be a few of you in here right now and your wives want
to respect you…they really do. But you’re making it hard for them. They’ve been listening this whole time thinking:

  • I really want to respect my husband…
  • I really want to be able to look up to him…
  • I really want him to be my hero…

But there’s sin in your life that’s making it hard for her.

So here are the questions husbands have to ask their wives…and I put these on the back of your inserts as homework for this week:

  • What do I do that makes it difficult for you to respect me?
  • What do I do that makes me seem more like a boy than a man?

I shared last week how hard it was for Katie to respect me when I was playing World of Warcraft. For other husbands it’s going to be hard for your wives to
respect you if:

  • You don’t work hard to take care of your family.
  • You don’t lead your family well spiritually.

· You look at things you shouldn’t or you have some other sin in your life.

Let me share some simple truths:

· Husbands, we are commanded to love our wives unconditionally – that means we’re supposed to love our wives regardless of what they do or don’t do – but
the reality is wives can make this easier or harder for their husbands.

· Likewise, wives you are commanded to respect your husbands…but husbands, we can make this easier or harder for our wives.

  • Wives, if you want your husband to love you, be lovable.

· Husbands, if you want your wife to respect you, be respectable.

—-

Now ladies, each week we’ve invited husbands to come forward if they felt convicted and wanted prayer to be better husbands who love and cherish their
wives well.

Today we’re going to have some wives up front who would love the opportunity to pray w/ you if you felt convicted during the sermon, and you want prayer to
be a better wife.

LET’S REVIEW THESE LESSONS:

LESSON 2:
HUSBANDS MUST FEEL LIKE THEIR WIVES RESPECT THEM

LESSON 3:
WIVES CAN LOVE THEIR HUSBANDS WITHOUT RESPECTING THEM

LESSON 4:
DISRESPECT CAN CHANGE YOUR HUSBAND’S FEELINGS TOWARD YOU

LESSON 5:
HUSBANDS CAN MAKE RESPECTING THEM EASIER.

Author: Scott LaPierre