“Why are wives commanded to submit to their husbands?”
This is an understandable question when people first learn Scripture commands wives to submit to their husbands. Watch the short video of Katie and I discussing the answer and/or read the transcript below…
Wives are commanded to submit because it’s necessary
We see the clear need for submission in all other areas of life. No organization can be successful without authority or headship:
- Businesses have CEOs.
- Sports teams have coaches.
- Governments have presidents or prime ministers.
Just as we recognize the need for a leader, or a head, we also recognize that there cannot be two heads. We don’t see two head coaches, two presidents, two head pilots, or two head surgeons. Imagine how uncomfortable you would feel:
- Flying on a plane with two head pilots arguing over the flight plan
- Being operated on by two head surgeons quarreling over the proper procedure
Instead we always see a:
- Head coach and an assistant coach
- President and a vice-president
- Pilot and a co-pilot
- Principal and an assistant principal
The second-in-command submits to the authority of the leader. Since we recognize this need in all other areas of life, we should recognize this need in marriage too.
Wives are commanded to submit because of disagreements
One of the most common arguments I have heard from wives who do not want to submit to their husbands is: “I would submit to my husband if I agreed with him.” Can we see the problem with this logic? If a wife agreed with her husband, she would not have to submit. Submission is in place entirely for when husbands and wives do not agree.
Perhaps a husband and wife have discussed a decision together, presented their ideas, shared their thoughts, and tried to come to an agreement. But they cannot. At this point, what do they do? How do they decide? Do they resort to arguing? Do they flip a coin or play “Rock-Paper-Scissors”? Just as in all the authority structures we have discussed, there is a clear answer here, and it is an answer God has decreed, not man. For the marriage to be able to move forward, the husband has been designated to make the final decision.
Discuss: Do you see the same need for submission in marriage as in all other areas of life? How do you handle disagreements in your marriage?
Here is the Facebook Live video with all comments and discussion: