Winning Over Your Husband – 1 Peter 3.1-2

We’re on our 9th message in our Marriage & Family Series and the title of this morning’s sermon is, “Winning Over Your Husband.”

I’d like to begin by reviewing the foundation we established at the beginning of this series…perhaps some of these are memorized by now…

LESSON 1: AS WE BEGIN, MAKE THE DECISION TO:

· PART I: FOCUS ON YOUR WEAKNESSES MORE THAN YOUR SPOUSE’S

(PART II) AND TURN YOUR FRUSTRATIONS INTO PRAYER.

· PART III: TRUST THE HOLY SPIRIT TO WORK (PART IV) WITH YOU.

  • PART V: REMEMBER LISTENING IS NOT ENOUGH.
  • PART VI: EMBRACE THE STRUGGLE (PART VII) BECAUSE OF WHAT IT PRODUCES.
  • PART VII: OBEY THE BIBLE AND NOT THE WORLD.

1a

Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word,

We’ve already discussed wives submitting to their husbands in previous sermons, so I don’t need to spend more time on that, but there’s some new
information to glean from this verse.

On October 19th I preached a sermon called, “Understanding Submission – Part II.” I want to remind you of one of the lessons from that
sermon, and I want to add to it…

LESSON 2: SUBMISSION DOESN’T MEAN SUBMITTING TO: (PART I) OTHER MEN…

Notice the words “be submissive to YOUR OWN HUSBANDS.” We said that while wives are commanded to submit to their husbands, it’s equally
true wives aren’t expected to submit to other husbands.

LESSON 2: SUBMISSION DOESN’T MEAN SUBMITTING TO: (PART I) OTHER MEN (PART II) ABUSE…

We also said wives also aren’t expected to submit if it means enduring abuse.

LESSON 2: SUBMISSION DOESN’T MEAN SUBMITTING TO: (PART I) OTHER MEN (PART II) ABUSE (PART III) SIN….

We also said wives aren’t expected to submit if that would mean sinning.

Now Part IV of Lesson 2…

LESSON 2: SUBMISSION DOESN’T MEAN SUBMITTING TO: (PART I) OTHER MEN (PART II) ABUSE (PART III) SIN, (PART IV) BUT IT DOES MEAN SUBMITTING TO UNBELIEVERS…

Wives aren’t expected to submit to other men, abuse, or sin, but they are expected to submit to their husbands even they’re unbelievers.

Notice the words even if some do not obey the word. Each author of the Bible has their own way of writing and this is Peter’s way of
describing unbelievers throughout his letter. For example – and you don’t have to turn there – but:

  • In 1 Pet 1:2 when Peter discusses believers he says they’re elect…for obedience. He equates salvation – or election –
    w/ obedience…and rightly so: believers should be obedient!
  • In 1 Pet 2:8 when Peter discusses unbelievers he says they’re disobedient to the Word.

John MacArthur says, “ Since obedience has been used in this letter to refer to believers and disobedience to non-believers, this is a non-Christian husband.

Sometimes people say, “Is a spiritually mature wife expected to submit to a spiritually immature husband?” The answer is,

“A spiritually mature wife isn’t just expected to submit to a spiritually immature husband, she’s expected to submit to a spiritually bankrupt husband,
or an unbeliever.”

Let me provide one encouragement to wives who have believing husbands who happen not to be as spiritually mature as they’d like…

You think submitting to your believing husband is difficult – and I’ll be the first to say that I’m sure it is at times – but I’ll tell you it isn’t nearly
as difficult as it is for wives married to unbelieving husbands. Your believing husband might not be the spiritual giant you wish he was, but you can at
least be thankful he’s a believer!

—-

Now let me share a verse w/ you that reveals the graciousness and mercy of God:

  • Let me share a verse w/ you that’s meant to protect us…

· Let me share a verse w/ you that’s been disobeyed and led to a lifetime of regret for some people…

  • 2 Cor 6:14

    Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with
    darkness?

Young single ladies, don’t marry a spiritually immature believer – or worse an unbeliever – and you won’t have to worry about submitting to a spiritually
immature believer, or worse an unbeliever. This verse is trying to protect you from making a decision you’ll regret for the rest of your life.

1b
they
(husbands), without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives,

This means won to salvation and it brings us to the rest of Lesson 2…

LESSON 2: SUBMISSION DOESN’T MEAN SUBMITTING TO: (PART I) OTHER MEN (PART II) ABUSE (PART III) SIN, (PART IV) BUT IT DOES MEAN SUBMITTING TO AN UNBELIEVER
(PART V) SO HE MIGHT BECOME BELIEVERS.

We’re told why believing wives are commanded to submit to their unbelieving husbands: so the unbelieving husband might become a believing husband.

Please notice the words without a word, and then notice the words may be won by the conduct of their wives.

If believing wives are married to unbelieving husbands, Peter tells those wives two things:

· He tells them how NOT to try to win their husbands to salvation: w/ words.

· And he tells them how TO try to win their husbands to salvation: w/ their conduct.

It’s a woman’s life and behavior that win over an unsaved husband, not any of her words. The loving, gracious submission of a Christian wife to her unsaved
husband is the strongest evangelistic tool she has; her strongest evangelistic tool is her godly, virtuous character.

Wives will not win over their unbelieving husbands by what they say:

· They will win over their unbelieving husbands by what they do.

· They will win over their unbelieving husbands by who they are.

Please listen to these verses from 1 Cor 7:13-16:

A woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband
is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband…16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?

This doesn’t mean believing husbands or wives can save their unbelieving spouses: the word sanctified means set apart or holy. It looks to the unbelieving spouse being set apart through exposure to the believing spouse’s holiness…and how often is the
unbelieving spouse exposed to the believer’s holiness? Since they’re living together, hopefully every day!

But if the believing spouse leaves – or worse divorces – the unbelieving spouse, what happens? That exposure ends; that sanctification ends.

Think about this logically: the best way for unbelievers to come to salvation is by being around believers. How much more intimate of a relationship could
an unbeliever have w/ a believer than being married to one?

Now I’ll be the first to say marriage is difficult when two believers are married, so I have no doubt it’s even more difficult for a believer to be married
to an unbeliever. But w/ that said, how tragic – and disobedient to God’s Word – is it when believers separate from or divorce unbelievers when that
believer constitutes the greatest chance for the unbeliever to become a believer?

I’ve heard believers talk about wanting to leave their unbelieving spouses. They’ll talk about how terrible their unbelieving spouse is – and I believe
them – but in my mind I’m thinking,

“Yeah, your spouse sounds really terrible…he or she really needs Christ…and this person is going to be exposed to Christ through you. The worse you
make your spouse sound, the more obvious it this person needs you!”

Now please notice the words without a word.

Even though this is speaking to wives w/ unbelieving husbands, it contains wisdom for wives in general toward their husbands.

Ladies, let me be honest w/ you…

Men and women are different, and in our differences we have different struggles. There seem to be some struggles that are more common to men, and some
struggles that are more common to women. We’re going to discuss the struggle that’s more common to women first, and then we’ll discuss the struggle that’s
more common to men.

This brings us to Lesson 3…

LESSON 3: (PART I) LADIES STRUGGLE WITH NAGGING…

The definition of nagging is, “continually faultfinding, complaining, or petulant; persistently recurring; unrelenting.”

· Ladies, let me ask you a tough question: is this how your husband would describe you?

· If you really want to know, ask him when you get home…or ask your children b/c children are very perceptive of how their mothers treat their fathers.

We’re going to look at the curse in Gen 3 in an upcoming sermon, but just to tell you now, part of the curse for wives is a desire to control their
husbands. In Gen 3:16 God told Eve, “Your desire shall be for your husband.” He meant your desire shall be to rule over or control your
husband…and this controlling tendency often manifests itself as nagging…and that’s why God warns women about this throughout Proverbs:

·
Pro 19:13b
The contentions
(or nagging) of a wife are a continual dripping.

  • Pro 21:9 & 25:24

    Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop,
    than in a house shared with a contentious
    (or nagging) woman.

·
Pro 21:19

Better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious
(or nagging) and angry woman.


These verses are describing the effect nagging has on a husband: it makes him want to get as FAR AWAY from his wife as possible, to the corner of the roof or to the wilderness.

Pro 27:15-16

A continual dripping on a very rainy day
and a contentious
(or nagging) woman are alike; 16 Whoever restrains her restrains the wind, and grasps oil with his right hand. This verse is fascinating b/c it’s saying you
can’t restrain a nagging wife; it’s like trying to restrain the wind or pick up oil w/ your hand.

Now why would it say that? It says that b/c when you try to restrain a nagging or contentious wife by responding to her, it makes her more contentious; it
makes her more argue or nag even more. All you can do is climb to the corner of a rooftop and endure terrible weather or dwell in the wilderness w/ wild animals to get away from her.

Now ladies, let me tell you why nagging doesn’t work…and this brings us to the rest of Lesson 3…

LESSON 3: (PART I) LADIES STRUGGLE WITH NAGGING (PART II) AND MEN STRUGGLE WITH STUBBORNNESS.

Nagging doesn’t work on men b/c they struggle w/ stubbornness.

The definition of stubborn is, “

Unreasonably obstinate; obstinately unmoving. Fixed or set in purpose or opinion. Difficult to manage or suppress. Stiff. Difficult to shape or work.”

I believe women struggle w/ nagging b/c of the curse, and I believe men struggle w/ stubbornness b/c of the curse. Right after God told women they would
desire to control their husbands, He said, “[Your husband] will rule (or have authority) over you.” God created men to be
leaders, so they’re naturally less receptive to being controlled or told what to do by their wives.

Let me tell you two tragic truths:

1. Men struggle w/ stubbornness, and they seem to struggle w/ stubbornness even more when they’re being nagged.

2. Women struggle w/ nagging, and they seem to struggle w/ nagging even more when they feel like their husbands are being stubborn.

So it creates a vicious cycle that sucks the joy out of marriages.

Now God is aware of this cycle, and He has shown us how to bring it to an end: wives are supposed to win over their husbands, not w/ words, but w/ godly
behavior.

Ladies, next time your husband is digging in his heels, and you’re tempted to nag him – which will just make him dig in his heels even more – surprise him
by responding in a submissive way.

Here’s the reality…

Because of men’s stubbornness, when they are nagged by their wives it usually makes them less likely to do what their wives want.

Ladies, I know there are things you want your husbands to do:

  • You want your husband to read the Bible w/ you.
  • You want your husband to pray w/ you.

· You want your husband to be more of a spiritual leader to you and your family.

  • Or maybe you want things that aren’t of a spiritual nature:

o You want your husband to finish some chore.

o You want your husband to complete some project around the house.

Nagging your husband to do these things will not increase the likelihood of him doing them…sadly b/c men are stubborn it might increase the likelihood of
him NOT doing these things.

Similarly, there are things you want your husband to stop doing, possibly even sinful things…

  • Could be things you don’t want your husband watching…

· Could be ways you don’t want your husband talking to you or the children…

· Could be things that aren’t necessarily bad, but perhaps your husband does them instead of doing things you would rather he be doing w/ your or his
church family…

Nagging your husband probably won’t discourage him from doing these things…and again, sadly, b/c men are stubborn, nagging him might actually make him feel
MORE comfortable doing these things.

Nagging your husband will not bring him closer to being the husband or father you want him to be for you, your children, your family or for God. Nagging
him will often push him in the opposite direction.

Here’s what you should do instead ladies:

  • If you want your husband to read the Word more…
  • If you want your husband to pray more…
  • If you want your husband to be a godlier man…
  • Read the Word more yourself…
  • Pray more yourself…
  • Be a godlier woman yourself…
  • And here’s why, and I really can’t say this strongly enough…

There is no man who can sit at home being unspiritual, being lame, and being weak in his relationship w/ the Lord, while his wife is being spiritual and
strong in her relationship w/ the Lord…w/o feeling bad himself:

  • He might pretend like he doesn’t feel bad…

· You might not be able to tell looking at him that he feels bad…

But I can guarantee you ladies that He does feel bad; the Holy Spirit will not allow your husband not to feel convicted.

Let me remind of you something…

In John 16:8 Jesus said, When [the Holy Spirit] has come, HE WILL convict the world of sin.” Notice the
emphasis on the Holy Spirit doing the convicting; He has this responsibility. Jesus has promised the Holy Spirit will convict the world of sin…and this
includes husbands! Ladies, don’t try to be the Holy Spirit in your husband’s life; let me encourage you to trust the Holy Spirit to convict him.

But don’t do this:

  • Don’t nag your husband.
  • Don’t talk down to your husband.
  • Don’t disrespect your husband.
  • Don’t threaten your husband.

All you’ll do w/ those actions is show him you’re not a godly woman, and that will convince him he doesn’t have to be a godly man for you.

Let me give you a practical analogy to help explain all this…

· Imagine there’s a man married to a godly, gentle, submissive, respectful, wonderful wife. He won’t be able to do ANYTHING:

o Raise his voice…

o Look lustfully at other women…

o Avoid reading his Bible…

o Avoid being involved in the church…

  • Without being convicted.

· He’ll feel like a complete loser being married to such a godly woman while he’s being such a compromising man.

Now imagine this…

Imagine that same man is married to a loud, obnoxious, controlling, bitter, manipulative, discontent wife. That husband will feel justified doing just
about anything.

—-

Let me give you an example from our lives…

A few weeks ago I told you about the time I was addicted to playing World of Warcraft when Katie and I first got married. There’s part of that story that I
left out to share in this sermon…

One of the main reasons I felt so bad about what I was doing, was I was married to a godly woman. I felt terrible about what I was doing, b/c Katie was
still being a godly wife. I felt like such a selfish loser b/c of who I was married to, but if Katie would’ve nagged me and yelled at
me, I wouldn’t have felt as bad. I probably would’ve felt even more comfortable playing.

Now don’t get me wrong: Katie let me know how much it bothered her that I was playing – I told you how she basically had a little emotional breakdown after
a month or two – but she spoke to me honestly and not out of anger. If she would’ve nagged me and yelled at me, I would’ve felt more justified in playing
b/c I would’ve felt like she didn’t deserve better. It was Katie being a great wife while I was being a lame husband that really helped convict me.

—-

Now let me try to provide some balance to this…

In previous sermons I’ve talked extensively about wives helping their husbands, so ladies…

· I’m not saying you don’t ask your husband to do certain things…

· I’m not saying you don’t ask your husband not to do certain things…

  • I’m not saying you don’t remind your husband of things…

You are his helper, and sometimes one of the other struggles husbands have could be summed up in the word: obliviousness. Man can be oblivious!
You don’t want your husband walking around:

· Having no idea how much he hurt or disappointed you or the kids.

· Having no idea how you feel about things he’s doing or not doing.

So there’s a balance that’s necessary here:

  • Share w/ your husband how you feel.
  • Share w/ your husband what you want.

· Be a helper to him by reminding of things and pointing things out to him.

But the way you say it is important, and don’t keep saying the same thing over…and over…and over…and over…and over.

Study your husband. I’m sure each wife in here knows when she’s moved from being helpful to nagging.

And let me tell you something interesting about each command for wives to submit to their husbands that relates to all this…

Although it doesn’t come out in the English very well, the commands aren’t just for wives to submit, the commands are for wives to adapt to their husbands
as well. The Amplified captures this. Listen to these verses read from the Amplified:

  • Col 3:18
    Wives, be subject to your husbands [and ADAPT YOURSELVES TO THEM].
  • Eph 5:22
    Wives, be subject (be submissive and ADAPT YOURSELVES) TO YOUR OWN HUSBANDS.
  • Titus 2:5 [says older women should teach younger women] to…ADAPT…themselves to their husbands.
  • 1 Pet 3:1
    [Wives], be submissive to your own husbands […and ADAPT YOURSELVES TO THEM].

Part of submitting to your husband is adapting to him, and that means:

· Learning when your husband feels like you’re being helpful or nagging…

· Learning when your husband feels like you’re being his helper or his nagger.

And husbands, you can help your wives by letting them know when they’re nagging…in a nice and loving way:

  • My Love, you sure are helpful sometimes, but there’s the nagging line and your toes are over it.
  • Honey, I love you…but the roof is starting to look really attractive.
  • Sweety, is that a dripping faucet or is that you?

But husbands if you’re cruel or harsh to your wife, do you really think that’s going to make her want to stop nagging? If you yell at your wife – aside
from sinning – you’ll also make her want to move from nagging to yelling at you in return.

And the same goes for you ladies…

If your husband is doing something that’s hurting you or the family, let me ask you which one of these will leave him feeling convicted:

  • You yelling at him and disrespecting him?

· Or you lovingly, respectfully petitioning him about the way he’s acting and the pain it’s causing? When a wife talks to her husband this way, it makes
him feel terrible for mistreating such a wonderful woman.

Now before we move on to verse 2, let me tell you how I’d like to invite you to view the following verses…

If you remember when we were in Eph 5, verse 25 commanded husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church. Then the following verses describe what
that looks like. The same is happening here: verse 1 commands wives to win their husbands over by their conduct, and the following verses describe what
that conduct looks like…

2
when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.

Let me explain something about this section of 1 Peter…

These verses in chapter 3 are part of a larger section on submission that began at 1 Pet 2:13. If you briefly look at chapter 2:

  • Verses 13-17 are about submitting to government.

· Verses 18-20 are about slaves submitting to their masters, or we would better understand this as employees submitting to employers.

· Verses 21-25 are about Christ’s premier example of submission, and how we should all strive to emulate it.

Now please look at 1 Pet 2:18 Servants, be submissive to your masters with all fear, not only to the good and gentle, but also to the harsh
.

Let me get you to notice two things…

  • First, notice the words not only to the good and gentle, but also to the harsh. Peter is saying we’re supposed to submit to authority
    not only if it’s nice and gentle, but even if it’s cruel and harsh. I’m pointing this out, b/c it’s similar to 1 Pet 3:1 that wives
    are supposed to submit to their husbands even if they’re disobedient to the word…or even if they’re not as nice and gentle as their wives would like…so
    it will hopefully win over the unbelieving husband.
  • Second notice the words with all fear. It’s not speaking of servants fearing their masters, it’s
    speaking of servants fearing God. Servants should submit to their masters…b/c they fear God. The word for fear has more the idea of reverence or
    respect than it does what we think of as fear. For example:

o NIV Slaves, in reverent fear of God submit yourselves to your masters.

o ESV and NAS Servants, be subject/submissive to your masters with all respect.

· So the idea is servants aren’t supposed to submit to their masters b/c of their fear – or respect or reverence – for their masters, but for God!

Now w/ that in mind, please look at the similarity in 1 Pet 3:2. It says husbands shouldobserve [their wives’] chaste conduct accompanied by fear. It’s the same language as 1 Pet 2:18, and again it’s not talking about wives submitting to their husbands b/c of their fear – or reverence or respect – for their
husbands, but b/c of their fear – or reverence or respect – for God! When a wife submits to her husband – or doesn’t submit to her husband – it’s a
reflection of her fear – or reverence or respect – for God.

If you were here last Sunday this probably sounds very familiar, b/c this was one of the main points of the sermon – not just for wives, but also for
husbands – that the way we treat our spouses is a reflection of our relationships w/ God:

· When a wife submits to her husband, she does so out of fear or reverence or respect for God.

· When a wife doesn’t submit to her husband, it’s b/c she doesn’t fear or have reverence or respect for God.

Now let me read verses 1 and 2 together so you get the context:

Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct
of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.

The idea is as husbands see their wives’ fear – or respect or reverence – for God it will hopefully do one of two things, depending if the husband is an
unbeliever or believer:

· If the husband is an unbeliever, it will draw him to the Lord as he witnesses his wife’s relationship w/ the Lord; in many ways, it’s about the
unbelieving husband seeing the Lord through his wife.

· If the husband is a believer, it will convict the husband about his behavior…it will actually convict him about being godlier like his wife.

The NLT says to wives, Your godly lives will speak to them better than any words.”

But when you get an unsubmissive, angry, argumentative wife, the husband doesn’t see the Lord through her and he doesn’t become convicted of anything.

—-

Now we’re going to stop at 1 Peter 3:2 and I’d like to explain why…

1. First, the next few verses discuss a woman’s beauty – contrasting inward beauty w/ outward beauty – and I don’t want to begin that section w/o being
able to finish it.

2. Second, the NT tells us in Rom 15 and 1 Cor 10 that we’re given the OT to provide us w/ examples to learn from:

a. This is why when we talked about wives disrespecting their husbands, we looked at Michal.

b. It’s one thing to be told not to do something, but it’s another thing to be shown an example of what not to do…and the OT gives us examples of what to
do and not do.

Now I want to look at a story from the OT about a woman who’s really an example for wives of what NOT to be like…and there’s some instruction for men – or
I should say single men – too…please turn to Judges 16:4 to see the Queen of Nagging…

4
Afterward it happened that he
(this is Samson)

loved a woman in the Valley of Sorek, whose name was Delilah. 5 And the lords of the Philistines came up to her and said to her,
“Entice him, and find out where his great strength lies, and by what means we may overpower him,

(now notice this…) that we may bind him to afflict him; and every one of us will give you eleven hundred pieces of silver.”

Just like that she was willing to sell out her husband for money.

6
So Delilah said to Samson, “Please tell me where your great strength lies,
(now listen to this…) and with what you may be bound to afflict you.”

She seriously asked him this! She said the exact same thing to him that the Philistines said to her!

Guys, if you’re ever asked this, turn and run.

7

And Samson said to her, “If they bind me with seven fresh bowstrings, not yet dried, then I shall become weak, and be like any other man.”

8

So the lords of the Philistines brought up to her seven fresh bowstrings, not yet dried, and she bound him with them. 9 Now men were lying in wait, staying with her in the room. And she said to him, “The Philistines are upon you, Samson!” But he broke the
bowstrings as a strand of yarn breaks when it touches fire. So the secret of his strength was not known.

Now if by some VERY slim chance Samson didn’t know why Delilah was asking how he could be overcome, after she tied him up and called the Philistines it was
OBVIOUS she was trying to get him captured.

10
Then Delilah said to Samson, “Look, you have mocked me and told me lies. Now, please tell me what you may be bound with.”

Now she’s playing the victim: she’s like, “How can we have a relationship built on lies? She’s very concerned about them having an open and honest
relationship: she’s like, “How can you keep lying to me when all I want is to know how to get you killed?”

Now, although we make light of the way Delilah treats Samson, there are wives who manipulate their husbands like this:

  • They play the victim.
  • They’re constantly acting like they’re being mistreated.

· They’re always trying to get their husbands – or others – to feel sorry for them. In many ways when wives to try to get others to feel sorry for them,
it’s even worse than trying to get their husbands to feel sorry for them, b/c in the process they’re making their husbands look terrible.

11

So he said to her, “If they bind me securely with new ropes that have never been used, then I shall become weak, and be like any other man.”

12

Therefore Delilah took new ropes and bound him with them, and said to him, “The Philistines are upon you, Samson!” And men were lying
in wait, staying in the room. But he broke them off his arms like a thread.

13a
Delilah said to Samson, “Until now you have mocked me and told me lies. Tell me what you may be bound with.”

Now if we pause right here, listen to the way she talks to him: “Tell me, tell me, tell me…” This is nagging.

13b
And he said to her, “If you weave the seven locks of my head into the web of the loom”—

This time he mentions his hair. He’s getting closer to revealing the source of his strength. It shows her slowly wearing him down.

Ladies, you can nag your husbands so much, you wear them down.

14

So she wove it tightly with the batten of the loom, and said to him, “The Philistines are upon you, Samson!” But he awoke from his
sleep, and pulled out the batten and the web from the loom.

15
Then she said to him
(now get this…)

, “How can you say, ‘I love you,’ when your heart is not with me? You have mocked me these three times, and have not told me where your great
strength lies.

She says,

“How can you say you love me when you keep lying to me about how I can get you killed? You never tell me how I can get you captured by the
Philistines.”

—-

Now this next verse is the verse that in my mind best describes the misery a wife can introduce into her husband’s life through her nagging…we read this
passage primarily for this verse…

16
And it came to pass, when she pestered him daily with her words and pressed him
(you can circle these words and write, “nagging”…and this is the effect it can have on husbands…) , SO THAT HIS SOUL WAS VEXED TO DEATH,

Here are two other translations of this verse:

1.
Every day she made his life miserable with her questions. She pestered him until HE WISHED HE WERE DEAD.

2.
She nagged him with her words day after day and begged him until HE BECAME WORN OUT TO THE POINT OF DEATH.

There are men whose wives make them feel like this:

  • They pester them…
  • And nag them…
  • And press them…
  • And beg them…

Until their husbands’…

  • Soul is vexed to death…
  • Until he wishes he was dead…
  • Until he becomes worn out to feeling like he’ll die…
  • Or…until he does what Samson does in verse 17: he gives in…

17

that he told her all his heart, and said to her, “No razor has ever come upon my head, for I have been a Nazirite to God from my mother’s
womb. If I am shaven, then my strength will leave me, and I shall become weak, and be like any other man.”

Now here are the two warnings…

First, to the young single men here, you need to know there are Delilahs out there. I would be remiss if we read these verses and I didn’t provide this
admonition for you single guys: you need to know there are women out there who will treat you like Delilah treated Samson:

  • They’re beautiful…
  • They’re seductive…
  • Outwardly they’re attractive…
  • But inwardly they’re serpents:

o If you get sucked in by them they can ruin your life, like Delilah ruined Samson’s life.

o Look for a woman who’s beautiful on the inside…which we’ll talk more about next week in 1 Peter 3:4-6.

Second, for the wives this brings us to Lesson 4…

LESSON 4: WARNING! LADIES CAN WIN OVER THEIR HUSBANDS WITH WORDS.

I’m convinced Samson knew what Delilah would do. He had to know what would happen. There’s no way he couldn’t have known since she had done it three times
in a row…but Delilah literally won Samson over w/ her words. The strongest man in the world, was overcome by a woman’s nagging.

Ladies…

  • You can push your husbands so hard…
  • You can nag your husbands for so long…
  • You wear them out…
  • They finally give in…

So ladies, here’s the encouragement:

· When you think about nagging your husband…

· When you think about continually pestering him…

  • When you think about saying, “Tell me, tell me, tell…please, please, please…” until you finally get what you want…

Understand that’s being like Delilah:

· My hope is Delilah might serve as an example to the wives of what NOT to be like.

· My hope is she might come to mind discouraging wives from acting this way toward their husbands.

There are two ways for wives to win over their husbands…

You can nag and pester your husband until he finally gives in. This is how Delilah won over Samson and this is how some wives win over their husbands to
get what they want.

But 1 Peter 3 shows wives another way – a better way – for wives to win over their husbands:

· Winning them over w/ their godly conduct.

· Winning them over for the spiritual benefit of the marriage and the family.

Let me conclude this lesson w/ this…

Nagging your husband might get you what you want at times – like Delilah got what she wanted – but then that makes you like Delilah.

Wives should always have a bigger picture in mind when they think of winning over their husbands:

· They should never be motivated by a desire to simply get what they want.

· God wants wives to win their husbands over for the benefit of their families and the glory Christ.

Now we’re going to move in to the Lord’s Supper w/ Lesson 5…

LESSON 5: (FOR THE LORD’S SUPPER) JESUS WINS US OVER WITH HIS WORDS AND ACTIONS.

Jesus is a great example, not just for wives, but for all of us. He sought to win us over w/ his words and w/ His actions.

First, I’d like to share some of Jesus’ words w/ you that He desires would win you over, and then I’ll share His actions that matched His words…

As I was thinking about all the words Jesus spoke, it was very difficult to narrow it down to those that I thought most showed His desire to win us over.
There are obviously so many things He said that reveal His love for us that it’s hard to come up w/ only a few. But here are the words I think most
beautifully reveal Jesus’ love for us…

  • Luke 22:20 Jesus took the cup and He said, “This is my blood which is shed for you.”
    When we hold the juice in our hands, we should always look at it and be reminded of Jesus’ love for us and how He was willing to shed His blood to wash
    away our sins.
  • Here’s the 2nd statement from Jesus that really shows His love for us and desire to win us over:1 Cor 11:24 Jesus took bread, which He broke and said, “ This is My body which is broken for you; do this in remembrance of Me.” When Jesus broke the bread in front of the disciples, He was
    illustrating what would soon happen w/ His body. When we look at the bread, we should be reminded of Jesus’ body and how it received the punishment for
    our sins; how it was broken physically so we can be made whole spiritually.

Those were Jesus’ words and these were His actions that matched…


  • Matt 26:67 Then they spat in His face and beat Him; and others struck Him with the palms of their hands, 68 saying, “Prophesy to us, Christ! Who is
    the one who struck You?”

    They beat Jesus while He was blindfolded so He couldn’t prepare for the blows. You can be sure by the time this was over He was unrecognizable.
  • Isa 50:6
    prophesied of this: I gave My back to those who struck Me, And My cheeks to those who plucked out the beard; I did not hide My face from shame and spitting.
  • John 19:1 Pilate took Jesus and scourged Him.
    This is only 6 words, but it was much worse than it sounds; it wasn’t uncommon for people to die from scourging. Jesus lost so much blood from this He
    was almost unable to make it to the cross. They had get a man to help Him.
  • John 19:2 The soldiers twisted a crown of thorns and put it on His head
    and they put on Him a purple robe. 3 Then they said, “Hail, King of the Jews!” And they struck Him with their hands.
    Matthew’s account adds that they gave Him a reed as a scepter to mock Him, and they beat Him w/ that too.

· Then Jesus experienced crucifixion, a word fittingly related to our word excruciating.

My lesson is somewhat misleading, b/c these weren’t really Jesus’ actions: these were the actions Jesus was willing to endure, and He was willing to endure
this to win us over.

Whenever we come to the Lord’s Supper we should remember why Jesus was willing to endure all this:

  • Because of His great love for us.

· Because He wanted us forgiven for our sins.

· Because He wanted the wrath of His Father poured out on Him so it wouldn’t have to be poured out on us.

Jesus wanted to ransom us – He wanted to win us over – from sin and death, and He proved it w/ His words and actions.

DON’T FORGET TO INTRODUCE NEW MEMBERS!

Scott LaPierre