If you’re a wife, Peter tells you how not to win over your husband—with words. And he tells you howto win over your husband—with godly conduct. 1 Peter 3:1-2 says:
Wives submit to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, you may win over your husband without a wordby your actions, when he sees your respectful and godly conduct.
Win Over Your Husband the Right Way
Wives, Peter says you will not win over your husband by what you say, but you might win over your husband by your lifestyle. The gracious submission of a Christian woman to her unsaved husband is the strongest evangelistic tool she has. Just what does this look like in practical terms? Comparing 1 Peter 2:18 with 1 Peter 3:1–2 can help with the answer because of the parallel language between the verses:
“Servants, be submissive to your masters” is similar to “Wives . . . be submissive to your own husbands.”
“Not only to the good and gentle, but also to the harsh” is similar to “even if some do not obey the word.”
“With all fear” is similar to “your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.”
In both verses, it is important to understand that this is not speaking of servants or wives submitting out of fear of their masters or husbands, but submitting out of fear and reverence for God. When an unbelieving husband sees this heart for God it will be a powerful witness. His wife’s godly behavior will convict him to be a godlier husband. Her life will speak louder to him than any words.
“Why are wives commanded to submit to their husbands?”
This is an understandable question when people first learn Scripture commands wives to submit to their husbands. Watch the short video of Katie and I discussing the answer and/or read the transcript below…
Wives are commanded to submit because it’s necessary
We see the clear need for submission in all other areas of life. No organization can be successful without authority or headship:
Businesses have CEOs.
Sports teams have coaches.
Governments have presidents or prime ministers.
Just as we recognize the need for a leader, or a head, we also recognize that there cannot be two heads. We don’t see two head coaches, two presidents, two head pilots, or two head surgeons. Imagine how uncomfortable you would feel:
Flying on a plane with two head pilots arguing over the flight plan
Being operated on by two head surgeons quarreling over the proper procedure
We’re striving for one live session each Thursday night at 7PM PST. After we finish, I upload each video to our Marriage God’s Way YouTube channel. Please subscribe to make sure you don’t miss any videos!
I have to say this is much more in Katie’s comfort zone than mine. I like to plan things out in detail. By the time I preach a sermon, I like to have invested a lot of time polishing it. I wouldn’t mind the videos so much if they weren’t live. The inability to start over is particularly nerve-wracking, but this is the only way to participate with us. People can post thoughts, questions, contributions, etc in the comments section while we’re recording.
Below are the three most recent videos we’ve done. I’ll provide a brief explanation of each, so you can decide which to watch.
Wives, embrace your husband’s leadership style, from Chapter Fourteen.
Husbands, you get the wife you prepare for yourself, from Chapter Nine. Ephesians 5:26-27 says Christ “sanctifies and cleanses the church…that He might present her to Himself a glorious [bride]”. Christ gets the church He prepares for Himself, and since this is a marriage passage it contains the same application for husbands with their wives.