The Three Reasons I Wrote Marriage God’s Way

There are thousands of marriage books, so why another one? Here are the three reasons I wrote Marriage God’s Way!

Marriage God’s Way isn’t about people trusting me

I recognize this isn’t a “reason” I wrote Marriage God’s Way, but it does answer an important question—why should you trust me to write a marriage book? I would never encourage people to trust what I have to say about marriage. Marriage God’s Way isn’t a collection of my thoughts about God’s first institution. Rather, I’m trying to get readers to trust what God says about marriage. He’s the author of it. He designed the roles and responsibilities for husbands and wives. He knows what a couple needs to have “a healthy, joyful, Christ-centered relationship.” And He provided a recipe for that in His Word. My desire was to present that recipe clearly and biblically.

First, I wrote Marriage God’s Way, because I’m passionate about marriage

I’m passionate about this area of Scripture and life. God designed the family as the primary unit for every other segment in society, including the church. And marriage is the heart of the family. As marriages disintegrate, families disintegrates. When families disintegrate, churches disintegrate. As churches disintegrate, society disintegrates.

When marriages are strong, however, families are strong. When families are strong, churches can be strong because strong churches are made up of strong families. As a pastor, I have seen many struggling marriages, but I have also seen couples find the solutions to their problems in Scripture. The truth of God’s Word has the power to heal and strengthen any marriage. Continue reading “The Three Reasons I Wrote Marriage God’s Way”

Marriage God’s Way – presentation of first copy to my dad

I’ve been working with Amazon on Marriage God’s Way and they send a complimentary copy to authors when their book is finished. We opened the first copy as a family, which was a special moment for us. See video above! My wife, Katie, and our children have sacrificed a lot for me to be able to write this book. They have been without me many early mornings and late evenings while I was working.

My dad, John LaPierre, has Alzheimer’s disease and of my prayers was answered in being able to finish Marriage God’s Way is in a timely manner. On August 7, 2016 during the morning worship at Woodland Christian Church I was able to present Dad with the first copy that we opened together as a family. I read the Dedication, gave him the book, and felt thankful to share the moment with my church family. See video above! VBS took place the week before and you can see the set hadn’t yet been taken down :).

Here’s some extra info related to the videos…

Continue reading “Marriage God’s Way – presentation of first copy to my dad”

Marriage God’s Way is available to purchase!

Last week our sixth child, Noah Michael, was born. Tomorrow is my 10-year anniversary to my beautiful wife. Today I published Marriage God’s Way.

I’ve never felt so many emotions in such a short period of time. My heart is in this book, and at some point in the future I’ll write a post or share a video (see below) discussing everything that went into reaching this moment. For now, here’s the info…

Ways to purchase Marriage God’s Way

You can purchase Marriage God’s Way on Amazon at this link in paperback or Kindle editions.

If you’d like a signed copy, please follow these two steps:

  1. Click here to make your payment through PayPal:
    • $17.99 if you need your copy shipped to you (the extra $3.00 covers shipping)
    • $14.99 if you expect to see me in person in the near future 🙂
  2. Second, send me an e-mail ( with the following information:
    • Your name (or the name of the individual you’d like me to address)
    • The address where you would like the book sent
    • Any special instructions or requests regarding the message

If you do not hear back from me in 24-hours confirming your order, please feel free to send me a follow-up e-mail or text: (360) 977-2877.

Giving the first copy of Marriage God’s Way to my dad

Marriage God’s Way is dedicated to my father. I will be giving him the first copy this Sunday (August 7th) at Woodland Christian Church. If you live in the area (and don’t already attend another church), I hope you can join us. at 11AM.

Marriage God’s Way giveaways

Tomorrow (Friday, August 5th), we’ll have a drawing for two copies of Marriage God’s Way. People can have their names entered by:

  1. Clicking “Like” on my Facebook author and book page.
  2. Sharing my Facebook author and book page.
  3. Subscribing to my YouTube channel. I know there aren’t many videos on there now (only one to be exact) but there will be more in the near future (see below).
  4. Subscribing to my website (in the upper-right corner).
  5. Sharing this post.

You can have your name entered for each of the above, so up to five times total. I have a running list that I keep updating.

If you happen to read this post after the drawing is done, you can do the above to have your name entered in future giveaways. There will be more! Continue reading “Marriage God’s Way is available to purchase!”

Publishing Update on "Marriage God’s Way"

First, I want to thank everyone who has asked about Marriage God’s Way, or more significantly, prayed for me through this process! Hard to believe how much I’ve learned about literary agents, proposals, publishers, editing, etc. since this began in October. And that isn’t a boast so much as it’s an admission of my ignorance when I started. Lots of evenings have been spent up late in the office after my family went to bed working on proposals and query letters, and many early mornings before my family woke up reading blogs and articles to help me in this journey.1 And I would definitely say it’s been a journey!

One change worth mentioning is I originally planned to have response activities at the end of each section. The book consists of forty-nine fairly short chapters divided over thirteen sections, making a nice resource for small groups or Sunday Schools following a quarterly system (often thirteen weeks in length). My associate pastor, Doug Connell, offered to develop the response activities, but in the process of doing so he came up with enough material for a workbook.[2] Therefore, Marriage God’s Way no longer contains response activities at the end of the sections since they’ll be contained in the workbook. The book and workbook together will still work well – or even better now – for Sunday School teachers or small group leaders using these types of resources.

Continue reading “Publishing Update on "Marriage God’s Way"”

Ladies, be your husband’s best friend!

Be your husband's best friend!
Be your husband’s best friend!

Last year I preached a sermon discussing the different Greek words for “love.” One of the words – probably the most well known – is agape. This is an unconditional, sacrificial love that loves even when it’s not reciprocated.

This is:

  • The love God has for the world: John 3:16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. 
  • The love man has for sin: John 3:19 This is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.
  • The love husbands are commanded to have for their wives: Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.

Another word for love is phileō, and it refers to strong affection or brotherly kindness. This is…

  • The beginning of words like philosophy (love of wisdom), philanthropy (love of fellow man), or philharmonic (love of music).
  • Used of the religious leaders who love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the corners of the streets” (Matt 6:5).
  • The way Mary and Martha described Jesus’ feelings for Lazarus when they said, “he whom You love (phileō) is sick” (John 11:3).

You see the two words – agapaō and phileō – used together when Jesus repeatedly asked Peter if he had agapaō for Him. Since Peter was humbled by his recent denials, he wouldn’t tell Jesus His love for Him was unconditional; instead he said he had phileō for Him (John 21:15-17).

Now the most interesting use of phileō…

Titus 2:3-4 says “older women” are to “admonish the young women to love their husbands.” This word for love is phileō. So even though husbands are to have agapaō for their wives, wives are to have phileō for their husbands. Why aren’t wives expected to have the same sacrificial, unconditional love for their husbands that husbands are to have for their wives? Is it that husbands don’t want or need that kind of love? I don’t think that’s it at all: I think it’s that wives are to love their husbands differently than husbands are to

My best friend Katie.
My best friend Katie.

love their wives. Wives are to love their husbands by being their friends. I think most men – myself included – would say it can be very discouraging and trying at times being a husband, father, provider, spiritual leader, and everything else that falls on most men’s shoulders. Can having a wife with sacrificial, unconditional love be encouraging? Yes. But what could be even more encouraging?

Having a best friend.


What does it look like when a wife isn’t a friend to her husband, when she doesn’t phileō him? It’s described in Proverbs:

  • Her “contentions are a continual dripping” (19:13b, 27:15),
  • She makes him want “to dwell in a corner of a housetop” (21:9a, 25:24) or “in the wilderness” (Pro 21:19a).

But when a wife has phileō for her husband, when she is his best friend, “the heart of her husband safely trusts her. He has no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life” (Pro 31:11-12).

This post is from my book, Marriage God’s Way: A Biblical Recipe for Healthy, Joyful, Christ-Centered Relationships, chapter fifteen: “What Is Love?”