The Maturity Trials Produce in Our Lives

We have six children and our seventh is due May 2018. Our oldest child is ten, and while we have enjoyed our children at all ages, we still want to see them mature. When they make decisions that disappoint us, we feel disappointed with their maturity. Consider how tragic it would be if children remained immature throughout their lives.

God Is a Father and He Wants His Children to Mature

The author of Hebrews rebuked some of his readers who had been following Christ for some time, but had not matured. Hebrews 5:12 & 6:1 says:

For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you again the basic principles of the oracles of God. You need milk, not solid food…Therefore let us leave the elementary doctrine of Christ and go on to maturity, not laying again a foundation of repentance from dead works and of faith toward God.

Unlike these Hebrew readers, the believers in 2 Thessalonians 1:3–4 had matured significantly:

We are bound to thank God always for you, brethren, as it is fitting, because your faith grows exceedingly, and the love of every one of you all abounds toward each other, so that we ourselves boast of you among the churches of God for your patience and faith in all your persecutions and tribulations that you endure.

The Thessalonians were a wonderful church. Paul applauded their growth, which he attributed to the trials they experienced. This is one reason we can find joy in trials—we know they are producing patience that leads to maturity. First Peter 5:10 says, “After you have suffered a little while, [God] will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.” During trials we can tell ourselves, “This is strengthening me spiritually, giving me endurance, building my faith, and preparing me for the future.” Jerry Bridges said:

Every adversity that comes across our path, whether large or small, is intended to help us grow in some way.

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Ways to Avoid Hypocrisy in Parenting

We want our children to embrace the Gospel and follow the Lord at the earliest possible time. We want the best for them, but they face so many threats. Could one of those threats come from us? We need to avoid hypocrisy in our parenting to ensure our children see the Gospel in us and through our parenting.

To accompany the message, below you will find:

  1. Lessons
  2. Discussion Questions
  3. Notes

Lessons

Lesson 1: ____________ ____________________ so you don’t see your sins in your children (2 Sam 13:21, 38-39, 14:33, 18:5; 1 Kin 1:6).

Lesson 2: Don’t let ________ ________ prevent you from disciplining your children (Pro 13:24, 19:18).

Avoid hypocrisy in parenting by:

Lesson 3: ________________ ________ you want from your children (Rom 2:1, 20-24; Matt 7:1-5).

Lesson 4: Telling your children ____________ __ ____________.


Discussion Questions

  1. Day 1—Read 2 Sam 13:21, 38-39, 14:33, 18:5, 1 Kin 1:6 and discuss: What sins did David see in the lives of his sons? In what ways did David’s sons’ sins reveal his sins? What are the dangers associated with viewing our children too sentimentally?
  2. Day 2—Read Pro 1:8-9, 3:12, 13:24, 19:18, 22:6 and discuss: Why didn’t David discipline his sons? Why would past sins prevent parents from disciplining their children? What can parents tell themselves when past sins prevent them from disciplining their children? When parents have sin-filled pasts what can they their children to avoid hypocrisy?
  3. Day 3—Read Rom 2:1, 20-24, Matt 7:1-5 and discuss: Do you have expectations for your children that you don’t have for yourself? What would your children say in answer to the previous question? Do your children see behaviors from you that you don’t want to see from them? Are you presenting a high view of God in your home, not just from what you profess, but the way you live?
  4. Day 4—Read Rom 3:9-23 and discuss: Why should parents share with their children that they’re sinners too? What are the dangers for parents if they don’t share with their children that they’re sinners too? Why is it important for parents to avoid making excuses to their children? What happens if children grow up with parents who regularly shift blame? In what ways can children see Christ through humble, loving parents?

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How Do You Deal with Fools?

There are two reasons to understand fools:

  1. Learn how to deal with them.
  2. Learn how to avoid being foolish ourselves. Even though certain people are identified as fools, there’s some foolishness in all of of us. Learning about fools can convict us of our own foolishness.

How to identify a Proverbs fool…

They’re described as unteachable:

Proverbs 1:7b Fools despise wisdom and instruction.
Proverbs 1:22c Fools hate knowledge.

It’s not that they literally hate wisdom, instruction and knowledge. They hate it in the sense that they won’t gain any because they think they know everything:

Proverbs 12:15 The way of a fool is right in his own eyes.

Since they refuse to learn, they continually make the same mistakes.

Proverbs 26:11 As a dog returns to his own vomit, so a fool repeats his folly.

Instead of learning:

Proverbs 18:2 A fool has no delight in understanding, but in expressing his own heart.

This is to say they don’t want to understand. They just want to listen to themselves talk. This leaves them very puffed up:

Proverbs 14:3a In the mouth of a fool is a rod of pride.

This pride leaves them blind to their own foolishness. They’re deceived:

Proverbs 14:8 The wisdom of the prudent is to understand his way, but the folly of fools is deceit.

Wise people know the truth about themselves. They see themselves accurately. Fools on the other hand have deceived themselves into thinking they’re wise. As a result they think they’re speaking wisdom, when in fact:

Proverbs 15:2b The mouth of fools pours forth foolishness.

Proverbs 15:14b The mouth of fools feeds on foolishness.

This is why their mouths and ignorance get them in trouble:

Proverbs 18:7 A fool’s mouth is his destruction, and his lips are the snare of his soul.

Proverbs 10:21 Fools die for lack of wisdom.

What’s the solution for fools? How can they avoid the destruction their foolishness brings? The solution is to become teachable:

Proverbs 8:5 O you simple ones, understand prudence, and you fools, be of an understanding heart.

How to deal with a Proverbs fool…

Now that we have an understanding of the characteristic of fools, this is the obvious question!

The simple answer is you don’t! Proverbs says the best way to deal with fools is by not dealing with them at all:

Proverbs 14:7 Go from the presence of a foolish man, when you do not perceive in him the lips of knowledge.

When you recognize people are fools, it’s time to get away from them!

If you choose to hang around fools though, the Bible also lets you know what to expect:

Proverbs 13:20b The companion of fools will be destroyed.

What if you don’t want to be the “companion of fools” but you want to try to reason with a fool. In other words, what if you try to deal with a fool? The reality is you can’t, because it’s inevitably going to become an argument. Scripture is clear about the hostility you should expect dealing with fools:

Proverbs 12:16 A fool’s wrath is known at once.

Fools are quick tempered and often respond in anger. This is how miserable it is:

Proverbs 17:12 Better to meet a bear robbed of her cubs,than a fool in his folly.

A fool will hate what you have to say:

Proverbs 23:9 Do not speak in the hearing of a fool, for he will despise the wisdom of your words.

You’ll be scorned if you try to correct a fool:

Proverbs 14:9a Fools mock at sin.

The clear instruction from Scripture is not to waste your time trying to deal with a fool; it is a futile, frustrating endeavor. You can’t talk any sense into a fool, and not to sound too simple, but this is what makes him a fool: he won’t listen. He won’t learn. He could experience terrible punishment and discipline, but he won’t change:

Proverbs 27:22 Though you grind a fool in a mortar with a pestle along with crushed grain, yet his foolishness will not depart from him.

If fools would listen they’d cease being fools, but since they won’t it’s best to let them continue in their foolishness. What’s the problem with this though? If you’ve been around a fool it’s hard not to respond!

Proverbs 27:3 A stone is heavy and sand is weighty, but the provocation of a fool is heavier than both.

The difficult dilemma with fools…

You shouldn’t respond to a fool for the reasons mentioned, but you know if you don’t respond the person will remain a fool. The situation is described perfectly:

Proverbs 26:4 Do not answer a fool according to his folly, lest you also be like him. 5 Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own eyes. You want to respond so he doesn’t continue to think he’s right and remain a fool.

Answering a fool makes you “like him” in two ways:

  1. It is so foolish to answer a fool you have to be a fool to do so.
  2. You won’t be able to help but look like a fool when you respond, hence the quote, “Don’t argue with a fool because onlookers won’t be able to tell the difference.”

Proverbs 26:4 says not to answer a fool, and then Proverbs 26:5 says the opposite? It looks like a contradiction unless you consider how well it captures the predicament you’re in with a fool:

  • You can’t answer a fool because of his foolishness.
  • You should answer a fool so he learns some wisdom.

Despite the strong urge to respond, DON’T! Unless you want the frustration the Bible clearly warns you’ll experience.

Discuss:

  • Do the verses in Proverbs help you recognize a fool? More importantly, do they warn you against being foolish yourself?
  • Have you dealt with a fool before?
  • Requiring some humility, when have you acted like a fool?

Share your answer(s) in the comment section below!