A Helper Comparable to Him – Genesis 2.18

The title of this morning’s sermon is, “A Helper Comparable to Him.”

By this point in the Marriage & Family Series I’ve mentioned Genesis 2:18 at different times, but I’ve never elaborated on it. This morning we’re going
to do that, while trying to tie together a number of things we’ve discussed in other sermons.

You probably notice there are a lot more blanks on the insert than usual. That’s b/c some of the points I’ve mentioned before, and
we’ll go through them more quickly as a result…

18
And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”

The Hebrew word for helper is `ezer (pr: ay-zayr); it means “help or one who helps.” It occurs 21 times in the OT,
occurring twice in Genesis: once in verse 18, and once in verse 20 when it says there was no helper found for Adam.

Occasionally a woman will take offense at being called her husband’s helper. This is unfortunate b/c whenever the Hebrew word for helper
is used:

  • It’s never used synonymously w/ assistant, minion or subordinate.

· Instead, it’s always used in a way that should be very encouraging to women, and I want to briefly discuss those ways…

LESSON 1: WIVES SHOULD BE ENCOURAGED BEING CALLED THEIR HUSBAND’S HELPER BECAUSE IT (PART I) SPEAKS OF POWERFUL AID.

There are 19 times the word for helper occurs outside of Genesis and each time it’s used it refers to powerful and extensive aid and
support. Sometimes it’s even used to described military forces or armed men:

  • Deut 33:29
    Happy are you, O Israel!


    Who is like you, a people saved by the Lord,

    The shield of your HELP

    And the sword of your majesty!

    Your enemies shall submit to you,

    And you shall tread down their high places.”
  • Eze 12:14 I will scatter to every wind all who are around him to HELP him, and all his troops.

There are other verses I could give you, but the point is the Hebrew word for helper reveals woman as a powerful and influential companion
for man, not something insulting or inferior.

LESSON 1: WIVES SHOULD BE ENCOURAGED BEING CALLED THEIR HUSBAND’S HELPER BECAUSE IT (PART II) IS A TITLE FOR GOD.

Of the 19 times `ezer (pr: ay-zayr) occurs outside Genesis, 11 times it occurs in Psalms where it describes God as our helper:

  • Psa 33:20
    Our soul waits for the
    Lord
    ;


    He is our HELP

    (`ezer) and our shield.
  • Psa 70:5
    Make haste to me, O God!


    You are my HELP

    (`ezer) and my deliverer;
  • Psa 115:9-11
    calls God our helper 3 times in 3 verses: O Israel, trust in the Lord;


    He is their HELP

    (`ezer) and their shield.


    10
    O house of Aaron, trust in the Lord;

    He is their HELP

    (`ezer) and their shield.


    11
    You who fear the Lord, trust in the Lord;

    He is their HELP

    (`ezer) and their shield.

So another reason women should be encouraged being called their husband’s helper is it’s the title frequently used for God throughout the OT. We don’t let
the fact that God is our helper make us think less of God, and we should apply that same thinking to wives being their husband’s helper.

LESSON 1: WIVES SHOULD BE ENCOURAGED BEING CALLED THEIR HUSBAND’S HELPER BECAUSE IT (PART III) IS A TITLE FOR THE HOLY SPIRIT.

In the NT when Jesus said He would send the Holy Spirit, of all the titles He could have give Him, He called Him our “helper.”

  • John 14:16
    I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper.
  • John 14:26
    The Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name.
  • John 16:7
    It is to your advantage that I go away; for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you.

So another reason women should be encouraged being called their husband’s helper is it’s the title given to the Holy Spirit.

LESSON 1: WIVES SHOULD BE ENCOURAGED BEING CALLED THEIR HUSBAND’S HELPER BECAUSE IT (PART IV) IS A COMMENDABLE POSITION.

When women take offense at being called their husband’s helper, the frustration usually stems from seeing a helper as a position of inferiority. But if we
want to be biblical instead of worldly – which is what we should want – we know there’s not much in the Bible that’s spoken of more highly – or more
commendably – than helping or serving.

Helping and serving are just about the most admirable actions believers can engage in, and they’re the actions modeled by and praised by Jesus when He was
on earth:

  • Matt 20:26-28
    Whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant.
    27
    And whoever desires to be first among you, let him be your slave—
    28
    just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.”
  • Matt 23:11 But he who is greatest among you shall be your servant.

So wives should be encouraged at being called their husband’s helper, b/c helping is about the most commendable action in Scripture.

I don’t want to sound harsh, but if you’re a wife and you’ve taken offense at the idea of helping your husband then your problem is you’ve let the world –
instead of Scripture – influence your thinking, specifically your thinking about your role as a wife.

Real freedom and joy on this side of heaven – whether young or old, male or female, single or married – comes from embracing God’s commands, embracing the
roles and responsibilities God has given us. Resisting God’s will and plan always lead to disappointment and frustration in this life.

So I would just encourage the women here:

· Make sure you don’t give in to the world’s thinking and teaching.

· Joyfully embrace the role God has given you as your husband’s helper.

Nancy Campbell said,

“[Ladies] are you feeling base and discouraged? Don’t listen to these lies any longer. Lift up your head and embrace your mandate from God. You are not
working for any earthly employer, but for the King of kings and Lord of lords, the Sovereign God of the universe. When He calls you a helper you can
hold your head high.”

LESSON 1: WIVES SHOULD BE ENCOURAGED BEING CALLED THEIR HUSBAND’S HELPER BECAUSE IT (PART V) SPEAKS OF MAN’S INADEQUACY.

I’m mot sure this should really be an encouragement to women, but at least it shows you how ironic it actually is when a woman takes offense at being
called her husband’s helper:

· The title isn’t saying anything negative or critical of woman

· The title isn’t making women look inferior…

· The verse is actually saying something negative about man…

· The verse is about man’s insufficiency and inadequacy…

John MacArthur says the verse “points to Adam’s inadequacy, not Eve’s insufficiency. Woman was made by God to meet man’s deficiency.”

The Amplified says, Now the Lord God said, It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be alone.” Man
is deficient w/o woman, and…

· Woman fixes man’s insufficiency.

· Woman is God’s answer or solution to man’s incompleteness.

Richard and Sharon Phillips said,

“To call a woman a helper is not to emphasize her weakness but her strength, not to label her as superfluous but as essential to Adam’s condition and
to God’s purpose in the world. Helper is a position of dignity given to the woman by God Himself.”

Look at the words comparable to him:

· The NAS and NIV suitable for him.

· The NLT just right for him.

· The ESV fit for him.

· The HCSB his complement.

· The Amplified “I will make him a helper (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him.

The idea is God created wives to be the perfect fit for men. They’re exactly what we need. They suit us and complement us.

The Hebrew word for comparable or in many translations suitable is neged (pr: nay-ged); it actually
means “opposite or contrasting.”:

· It’s referring to how men and women were designed to work and fit together perfectly in all ways: physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

· The strengths of each compensate for the weaknesses of the other; a husband and wife complement and complete each other.

· Together a man and woman become something stronger and more magnificent than they could be alone.

So let me ask you this:

· Husbands, do you see your wife as God’s suitable companion for you?

· Wives, do you see yourself as God’s perfect fit for your husband?

· Husbands and wives:

o Do you understand that you have strengths that compensate for your spouse’s weaknesses?

o Do you understand when God joined you together on your wedding He was putting you w/ someone who would perfectly complement and complete you?

o Maybe most importantly, are you giving thanks for God’s divine design and not resisting it, but doing everything you can to embrace and fulfill your
role?

—-

Next let’s look at the words “It is not good.”

In chapter 1, six times after God created on each day it says, “God saw that it was good.” It says that at the end of verse 4, 10, 12, 18,
21 and 25.

But in Gen 2:18 for the first time God saw something that was not good and it was man [being] alone.
This statement is even more interesting if we consider The Fall hadn’t taken place yet. We don’t normally think of anything being not good until after The Fall. In fact, we normally think of everything before The Fall being perfect and wonderful.

Since Adam hadn’t sinned yet, it wasn’t Adam himself that wasn’t good and it wasn’t anything he had done or hadn’t done that wasn’t good. God tells us what
exactly it was that was not good and it was him being alone.

So let’s talk about why it wasn’t – and still isn’t – good for man to be alone…

LESSON 2: IT’S NOT GOOD FOR MAN TO BE ALONE BECAUSE HE WOULDN’T (PART I) FULFILL GOD’S COMMAND TO “BE FRUITFUL AND MULTIPLY.”

If man is alone he can’t fulfill God’s second command in Gen 1:28 to, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it.” We talked about this extensively in a sermon on Dec 14th titled, “Be Fruitful and Multiply.”

LESSON 2: IT’S NOT GOOD FOR MAN TO BE ALONE BECAUSE HE WOULDN’T (PART II) SATISFY THE DESIRES GOD HAS GIVEN HIM.

God has given man – and woman – healthy desires that He wants us to be able to satisfy w/in marriage w/ our spouse. We talked about this during Sunday
School.

But to be clear, the desires I’m discussing go beyond physical intimacy: God has made us relational beings. We have emotional, mental and social desires
that can only be satisfied through marriage. You might have great friends, but they can’t – and shouldn’t – take the place of your spouse. God wants us to
have a companion through life and He’s given us marriage for that to happen.

—-

For the third reason it’s not good for man to be alone, I want to be upfront and say this is something that has to be inferred from Scripture. I think it’s
implied by two things: the reality of woman completing man and the reality of it not being good for man to be without woman….

LESSON 2: IT’S NOT GOOD FOR MAN TO BE ALONE BECAUSE HE WOULDN’T (PART III) HAVE THE BENEFIT OF A WOMAN’S INFLUENCE.

An unmarried man lacks the sanctifying and beneficial influence a woman introduces into his life. While it’s not always the case, it is common for men to
get married and become gentler, more sensitive, and more loving as a result. When Katie and I got together my parents FREQUENTLY told me how good she was
for me and how much she changed me for the better. I never heard the end of it. Sometimes I wonder if my parents even loved me before I married Katie J.

I’ll also add that history supports what I’m saying in that many times when men have engaged in terribly depraved behavior they were usually unmarried and
lacked female companionship. David Guzik explained it like this:

Marriage, in particular, has a blessed ‘civilizing’ influence on man. The most wild, violent, sociopathic men in history have always been single, never
under the plan God gave to influence men for good.”

LESSON 2: IT’S NOT GOOD FOR MAN TO BE ALONE BECAUSE HE WOULDN’T (PART IV) EXPERIENCE THE SANCTIFICATION OF MARRIAGE.

Marriage in general is very sanctifying. There’s a lot God wants to teach us on this side of heaven, and a lot of it is taught through marriage. After
Scripture and the Holy Spirit, marriage – along w/ having children – is the greatest way God teaches us forgiveness, love, gentleness, patience, dying to
self, and the list goes on.

One of the reasons it’s not good for men – and I would say women too – to be alone is it can allow for greater selfishness the longer you’re single:

· You get used to only taking care of yourself and only thinking about yourself.

· But when you get married you’re no longer able to live for yourself and only think about yourself.

· Now you’re living for someone else – or you should be – and that’s wonderful for our sanctification!

—-

Now one section of Scripture that clearly needs to be mentioned as we discuss this is Paul’s words in 1 Cor 7 where it almost sounds like
he’s saying it would be better for people to remain unmarried: 1 Cor 7:7 For I wish that all men were even as I myself (meaning single) . But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that.

Paul is saying marriage is a gift, but he’s also saying being able to be single like him is a gift.

8

But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; 9 but if they cannot exercise self-control,
let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

The only way to understand what Paul is saying is to take into consideration what he says at the end of the chapter. That’s where Paul explains why being
single is a gift, and why he wishes others had that gift. If you don’t consider the verses toward the end of the chapter, you’ll completely take the
earlier verses out of context and think people should remain unmarried: 1 Cor 7:32-34 I want you to be without care (he
means without the care of a spouse, b/c…)

. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord. 33 But he who is married cares about the things of the
world—how he may please his wife. 34…The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit.
But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband.

The point is – and I think all of us recognize this if we’re married and if especially if we have children – your family takes a lot of time – and it
should – but it’s time you can’t commit to serving the Lord the same way you could if you were single.

· As a single man, Paul recognized the special freedom and independence he had – and other single people have – and he said, “ I wish that all men were even as I myself” b/c he wished others could serve the Lord w/ the same singleness of mind he had.

  • In Luke 2:37 it says [Anna the prophetess] did not depart from the temple, but served God with fastings and prayers night and day. Anna wouldn’t have been
    able to do this if she was married.

But 1 Cor 7:

  • Shouldn’t be taken to mean people shouldn’t get married…

· And it shouldn’t be taken to mean singleness is somehow superior or more spiritual than being married. In 1 Tim 4:1-3 Paul even said it
was a demonic doctrine to tell people they shouldn’t marry…b/c of the problems it causes to remain single when God hasn’t called you to singleness. I’ve
mentioned before the terrible price the Catholic Church has paid calling men to singleness when God hasn’t called them to singleness.

Let me conclude this by saying we should recognize marriage as the normal, healthy pattern for everyone except for the very few people who have the gift of
singleness like Paul did.

—-

Now the last – and most obvious – reason it’s not good for man to be alone is revealed by the solution God says He’ll provide. We can tell why it’s not
good for man to be alone by considering how God says He’ll fix the situation: “I will make him a helper.”

LESSON 2: IT’S NOT GOOD FOR MAN TO BE ALONE BECAUSE HE WOULDN’T (PART V) HAVE THE HELP HE NEEDS.

There is a huge load on men’s shoulders:

· It’s a lot of work providing for a family.

· It’s a lot of work leading a family.

· It’s a lot of work being responsible for a family.

· Men have a huge amount of accountability: last week we discussed how God held Adam responsible for The Fall even though Eve sinned first.

The point is men have a huge load to carry and:

· God created women to help men w/ that load.

· God created women to help – or be helpers – to their husbands.

· God created women as the perfect person for this role.

· This truth is repeated in the New Testament: 1 Cor 11:9 Man was not created for woman, but woman for the man.”

So ladies, let me ask you something: are you making the load on your husband’s shoulders heavier or lighter? This brings us to Lesson 3…

LESSON 3: WIVES CAN BE HELPERS OR HARMERS, BLESSINGS OR CURSES.

The Bible does something interesting w/ its discussion of women:

· It presents them as helpers: as blessings or favor from God: Pro 18:22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing,


And obtains favor from the Lord.

· But it also presents women as having the potential to be the exact opposite: harmers or curses.

When we looked at 1 Pet 3:1 about wives winning over their husbands without a word, we talked about women nagging their husbands. I shared
the verses from Proverbs about a wife’s nagging being like:

· A continual dripping…

· Making a husband want to dwell on the corner of a rooftop or in the wilderness.

I don’t want to go in to detail about these verses again b/c I don’t want to be repetitive, and b/c I think we’re all familiar enough w/ them. If you
wanted to look at them I put the addresses on your inserts.

But I do want to say those verses that describe painful women can be contrasted w/ God’s desire for wives to be their husband’s helper. This teaches us to
the important reality that:

· Wives have the potential to be wonderful or terrible…

· Wives have the potential to be helpers or harmers…

Please listen to this verse that ties these truths together: Pro 12:4a An excellent wife is the crown of her husband,

This woman is an honor and comfort to her husband. She adorns him and makes him look better like a crown makes a king look better.

But then the verse goes on to present the opposite kind of wife…



Pro 12:4b But she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones.

Instead of honoring her husband and making him look better, this wife shames him. She makes him look bad. She’s a constant grief to his mind. She’s a
constant weight on his spirit. And all this shame does something to him: it ruins him physically.

Here’s the terrible truth: even though she is bone of his bones and flesh of his flesh this woman is like rottenness in his bones. She poisons his life. She deprives him of strength and vitality. This kind of wife actually ages her husband
and sucks the life out of him. Far from being the helper she’s supposed to be, his days will be shorter as a result of being married to her.

J.R. Miller said,

[A godly wife] thinks only of what will do [her husband] good. When burdens press upon him she tries to lighten them by sympathy, by cheer, by the
inspiration of love. She enters with zest and enthusiasm into all his plans. She is never a weight to drag him down; she is strength in his heart to
help him ever to do nobler and better things.


[But] all wives are not such blessings to their husbands. Woman is compared sometimes to the vine, while man is the strong oak to which it clings. But
there are different kinds of vines. Some vines wreathe a robe of beauty and a crown of glory for the tree. Other vines twine their arms about it only
to sap its very life and destroy its vigor, until it stands decaying and unsightly, stripped of its splendor, discrowned and fit only for the fire.”

The clear point is this ladies:

· You have the potential to be a blessing; you have the potential to be that good thing God wants you to be for your husband.

· Or you have the potential to be a curse that ages him and ruins his life.

—-

And of course we know what kind of wives women want to be: they want to be great helpers. So I want to provide a few specific ways for them to be that, but
here’s what I don’t want to do: I don’t want to be repetitive.

By this point in the Marriage & Family Series we’ve discussed quite a bit about wives:

  • We’ve discussed submission.

· We’ve discussed the verses for wives in Eph 5 and 1 Pet 3.

· We’ve discussed the verses in Timothy and Titus about wives taking care of their husbands, their homes and their children.

And I don’t want to go over those topics again, but obviously they all relate to wives being great helpers for their husbands. So let me just say this: if
you want to be a great wife – if you want to be a great helper for your husband – obey the verses – obey the commands – we’ve covered in previous sermons.

And for a few other ways we haven’t discussed in detail…

LESSON 4: A WIFE CAN HELP HER HUSBAND BY (PART 1) ENCOURAGING HIM.

Ladies, you need to be your husband’s biggest encourager and supporter:

  • Encourage him when he works hard…
  • Encourage him when he does things with the kids…
  • Encourage him when he prays and reads the Word…

· Encourage him even when he takes you to church…which is more than some men do. It’s important to remember there are women who would give just about
anything to have a husband sitting w/ them at church. Don’t take it for granted!

What good is a helper that doesn’t even encourage or support?

I’m not downplaying men being strong for their wives, but I’ll say there can be a lot of discouragement thrown at men and if they can’t receive
encouragement from their wives where are they going to get it? Yes there’s the Scriptures. Yes there’s relying on the Lord. But if that was all God wanted
men to have He wouldn’t have made them helpers!

LESSON 4: A WIFE CAN HELP HER HUSBAND BY (PART II) ADAPTING TO HIM.

First, let me establish that it’s not my opinion wives should adapt to their husbands: it’s part of every command in the NT for wives to submit…but it
doesn’t come out very well in the English. Please listen to these verses in the Amplified that capture the expectation for wives to adapt to their
husbands:

  • Col 3:18
    Wives, be subject to your husbands [and ADAPT YOURSELVES TO THEM].
  • Eph 5:22
    Wives, be subject (and ADAPT YOURSELVES) to your husband.
  • Titus 2:5 [says older women should teach younger women] to…ADAPT…themselves to their husbands.
  • 1 Pet 3:1
    [Wives], be submissive to your husbands […and ADAPT YOURSELVES TO THEM].

So wives are commanded to submit to their husbands, and part of that submission is adapting to them.

Even though God said He would make man a helper, it’s interesting to notice there’s no list in Scripture of how wives are supposed to help their husbands.
You’d think if He said He’d make a helper, He’d let them know HOW to help. While I can’t say why exactly this is the case, I have a suspicion:

· Every man is unique, w/ unique strengths and weaknesses: it’s impossible to say how a wife should help her husband b/c it will be different w/ each
husband.

· Different men want – and need – help in different ways.

What one man finds helpful and important, another man might find inconsequential and unimportant. I’ll give you two simple examples:

· Some men love to cook, and some men don’t. I can tell you that for men who struggle just making toast, they will find it very helpful for their wives to
do the cooking. Other men might enjoy doing the cooking.

· Some men couldn’t balance a checkbook if their lives depended on it, and for those men it will be very helpful if their wives oversee the finances. But
for other men if they turned the finances over to their wives they’d find their accounts overdrawn in a month. In those cases the wife can help her husband
best by having less to do w/ the finances.

The point is it’s important for wives to learn how their husbands want to be helped and need to be helped and adapt to them and help them that way.

Ladies, it might seem like a no-brainer, but think about the way your husband wants your help – look for ways your husband wants help – and strive to help
him that way.

Adapting to your husband means making what’s important to him important to you:

· Does your husband make it clear he wants dinner on time? Work hard to do that.

· Does he like all the shoes by the door put away? Work hard to do that.

· Does he like to be places on time? Work hard to do that.

· Does he like to be in bed by a certain time? Work hard to do that.

When I was going over the sermon w/ Katie she said,

“Work hard to make his priorities your own and to put your priorities second, and when you adapt to your husband don’t make him feel stupid for the way
he wants things done.”

Let me provide one final encouragement for the ladies…

Be committed to helping your husband even if it’s not what you enjoy doing. At times I’ve seen wives who want to help their husbands…but only in the ways
THEY want to help their husbands.

With our children sometimes they say they want to help, and then we tell them how they can help but they say, “Well, that’s not what I want to do. I don’t want to help you that way. This is what I want to do.” Wives can have that same attitude and that’s
not adapting to their husbands.

Martha Peace said,

“God’s will for every Christian wife is that her most important ministry be to her husband. After a wife’s own personal relationship with the Lord,
nothing else should have greater priority. Her husband should be the primary benefactor of his wife’s time and energy, not the recipient of what may be
left over at the end of the day. Whether her husband is a faithful Christian man or an unbeliever, God wants every Christian woman to be a godly
wife-an excellent wife.”

LESSON 4: A WIFE CAN HELP HER HUSBAND BY (PART III) EMBRACING HIS VISION.

On September 9th I preached a sermon called, “How Husbands Ought to Love Their Wives – Part I” and the 5th lesson was: HUSBANDS SET
THE STANDARD FOR HOLINESS IN THE HOME. As the spiritual leaders of the home, husbands have to set the standard for holiness. This means:

· They have to know what their homes should – and shouldn’t – look like.

  • They have to decide what is acceptable and unacceptable.

Basically, they have to have a vision for their homes.

One of the best ways for wives to help their husband is by embracing his vision and doing everything she can to support it and see it carried out.

There’s an interesting relationship from my time in the military that reminds me of the husband and wife relationship…and that’s the platoon leader and
platoon sergeant relationship:

· The platoon leader is responsible with developing the plans and orders and vision for the platoon.

· Then the platoon sergeant has the responsibility to see that carried out.

· It’s an interesting relationship b/c the platoon sergeant has been in the military longer, and he’ll often be more experienced and wiser than the platoon
leader in a number of areas. That’s why the platoon sergeant will be the one person – more than anyone else – the platoon leader listens to and receives
advice from.

· It’s similar to how wives are wiser and sharper than their husbands in some areas…but God still expects the husband to lead and He still expects the wife
to adapt and help.

But sadly here’s what I believe happens sometimes…

Some men have ideas and vision for their homes, but they doubt their wife will embrace it. They think their wife will resist what they try to introduce.
Just imagine for a moment…

There’s a husband and:

· Every time he makes a decision…

· Every time he wants to do something…

· Every time he tries to establish some rules or vision for his family…

· Basically every time he tries to lead…

He ends up arguing w/ his wife:

· She constantly questions him…

· She constantly contends w/ him…

That is a wife that will be the OPPOSITE of helpful.

But imagine there’s a wife that supports her husband:

· She embraces his ideas and thoughts.

· She passes along his ideas and vision to the children.

That is going to be a very helpful wife.

—-

Let me conclude this lesson by addressing the young single people here…

I’d like to remind you of something I said when we began this series: it’s great for you to be hearing all this:

· For you young men, you’re learning what to be like as husbands and you’re learning what to look for in a wife.

· For you young ladies, you’re learning what to be like as wives and you’re learning what to look for in a husband.

· For you single young men here, when you’re considering a young lady you need to ask yourself: Is this a woman I want as my helper for the rest of my life? Sure she’s pretty, but how much is that going to help?

· For you single young ladies here, you need to ask yourself:

Is this a man I want to help for the rest of my life? Sure he’s cute, but is his cuteness going to be enough to motivate me to help him when I don’t
feel like it?

Finally, a lesson for the husbands…

LESSON 5: HUSBANDS HELP THEIR WIVES BY COMMUNICATING.

Gentlemen, I’m going to be honest w/ you about one of the most common complaints I hear from wives: “My husband doesn’t communicate with me!” You
would not believe how many wives say their husbands don’t communicate w/ them enough:

· Wives aren’t mind readers.

· Lack of communication is one of the biggest problems in marriages, and it’s often the husband’s fault.

· Husbands are notorious for giving short and sometimes ambiguous answers.

Husbands you can help your wives tremendously by communicating w/ them more frequently and more clearly!

There are plenty of wives who WANT to be good helpers for their husbands, but they can’t b/c they don’t know what that looks like. While some men are
quieter than others, all men have the responsibility to regularly and clearly communicate w/ their wives.

I’ll say it like this: husbands, help your wife be your helper by communicating to her how she can help you.

—-

Let me conclude by sharing something interesting w/ you….

There’s a nice companion verse to Gen 2:18 and it’s Pro 18:22. In Gen 2:18 you can circle the words not good and write Pro 18:22:

  • Gen 2:18
    It is not good for man to be alone.
  • Pro 18:22
    He who
    finds a wife finds a good thing,
    And obtains favor from the Lord.

When a man receives a wife, he’s not receiving something neutral:

· He’s receiving something good.

· He’s receiving favor from the Lord.

And let me show you just how good a wife really is…

Please look at Genesis 1:31, the very last verse of the chapter: “ Then God saw everything that He had made, and indeed IT WAS VERY GOOD. So the evening and the morning were the sixth day.” This
is the end of the 6th day.

At some point earlier on the 6th day God looked and said, “This is not good” but at the end of the day He looked and said, “This is very good!”

What had changed? God had created woman:

· That’s how good women are…

· That’s how good a wife is…

Woman takes “not good” and makes it “very good.”

So here’s a question for the gentlemen and a question for the ladies:

· Gentlemen, when you think about your wife, do you see her as someone who takes you from not good to very good?

o Do you see her as a good thing?

o Do you see her as God’s favor on your life?

o Do you see her as the helper God wants you to have throughout your life; the one He knows is a suitable companion for you?

· Ladies, are you helping your husband go from not good to very good?

o Are you living in such a way that he can see you as that good thing for him?

o Are you treating him in such a way he can view you as God’s favor on his life?

o Are you giving him the help he needs – and most importantly – the help God wants you to give him?

My desire isn’t to discourage any of the ladies, and I don’t know if any women happen to be feeling that way. So let me give close w/ some encouragement:

· Be encouraged that in Christ you can be what God wants you to be…

· Be encouraged that Christ is able to make you that good thing for your husband as you seek Him with all your heart and depend on Him to be a helper
comparable to him.

Let me close w/ this quote from J.R. Miller:

“Nowhere but in Christ—can [a wife] find the wisdom and strength she needs, to meet the solemn responsibilities of wifehood. Only in Christ can she
find that rich beauty of soul, that gemming of the character, which shall make her lovely in her husband’s sight, when the bloom of youth is gone, when
the brilliance has faded out of her eyes, and the roses have fled from her cheeks. Only Christ can teach her how to live so as to be blessed, and be a
blessing in her married life!”

LET’S REVIEW THESE LESSONS:

LESSON 1: WIVES SHOULD BE ENCOURAGED BEING CALLED THEIR HUSBAND’S HELPER BECAUSE IT:

· (PART I) SPEAKS OF POWERFUL AID.

· (PART II) IS A TITLE FOR GOD.

· (PART III) IS A TITLE FOR THE HOLY SPIRIT.

· (PART IV) IS A COMMENDABLE POSITION.

· (PART V) SPEAKS OF MAN’S INADEQUACY.

LESSON 2: IT’S NOT GOOD FOR MAN TO BE ALONE, BECAUSE HE WOULDN’T:

· (PART I) FULFILL GOD’S COMMAND TO “BE FRUITFUL AND MULTIPLY.”

· (PART II) SATISFY THE DESIRES GOD HAS GIVEN HIM.

· (PART III) HAVE THE BENEFIT OF A WOMAN’S INFLUENCE.

· (PART IV) EXPERIENCE THE SANCTIFICATION OF MARRIAGE.

· (PART V) HAVE THE HELP HE NEEDS.

LESSON 3: WIVES CAN BE HELPERS OR HARMERS, BLESSINGS OR CURSES.

LESSON 4: A WIFE CAN HELP HER HUSBAND BY:

· (PART I) ENCOURAGING HIM

· (PART II) ADAPTING TO HIM

· (PART III) EMBRACING HIS VISION

LESSON 5: HUSBANDS HELP THEIR WIVES BY COMMUNICATING.

Author: Scott LaPierre