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“What if my husband isn’t interested in the Bible?”

marriage-gods-way-author-scott-lapierre husband isn't interested in the bibleOn Thursday nights at 8:30PST Katie and I are answering marriage questions on Facebook Live. If you have a question, be sure to send it to us. This past Thursday I answered the following: “What if my husband isn’t interested in the Bible?”

Below is the video. Here’s a breakdown of the content if you’d like to skip to a certain part:

  • 0–14:15—I answered the above question
  • 14:15–16:00—Katie shared briefly from Marriage God’s Way
  • 16:00–28:15—I discussed Genesis 30:1-2, which contains instruction for husbands and wives
  • 28:15–31.5 – Closing thoughts

Part I: 0–14:15 – “What if my husband isn’t interested in the Bible?”

Here’s the full question:

“My husband isn’t interested in the Bible. I’m becoming more interested in theology, but my husband feels like the topics that interest me don’t matter. He feels like a Christian is a Christian regardless. My question is, for a wife whose husband doesn’t agree with her theologically, what should I do? Should I just relax and let God work?”

Here are three suggestions:

  1. Pray! If your husband husband isn’t interested in the bible, you can’t make him be interested. Spiritual hunger and spiritual thirst is just that: spiritual. You can pray God gives him that hunger and thirst, but it’s not something you can give him.
  2. Encourage him! Be enthusiastic whenever he discusses Scripture. That will hopefully excite him about discussing it with you in the future.
  3. Ask him questions! Give him the opportunity to share. Keep your expectations low if he isn’t very studied. Do your best to prevent it from turning into an argument. That will only discourage him from talking about the Bible with you in the future.

Continue reading “What if my husband isn’t interested in the Bible?”

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The best way to counsel believers in sin

counsel believers in sin
Glennon Doyle Melton and Abby Wambach

There’s terrible confusion regarding what is and isn’t loving when it comes to correcting people. This makes it difficult to counsel believers in sin. Take for instance homosexuality, which draws almost immediate hostility when criticized. The most disheartening situations occur when believers defend sinful behavior. Take for instance author, speaker, and professing Christian Glennon Doyle Melton announcing she is in a relationship with soccer star Abby Wambach.

How would I counsel professing believers in sin, such as Glennon Doyle Melton?

Before Katie and I were married, she looked for a job doing massage. We were excited when the professing Christian owner of a local barber shop offered her a room. After Katie’s first day of work she told me, “I don’t know how to say this, but the woman who owns the shop…is a man.”

Genesis 1:27 says God created us male and female. “She” was a man despite the physical changes he made to his body. Since he claimed to be a Christian, we decided to speak with him about living such a lifestyle while professing to follow Christ.

A Christian friend of ours was angry with us saying:

“How can you think of calling ‘her’ a ‘him’? How can you think of confronting ‘her’ about this? This is so unloving!”

I think her sentiments capture the way a number of people feel about confronting sin. Continue reading The best way to counsel believers in sin

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We want to answer marriage questions on Facebook Live!

Katie and I started using Facebook Live to answer marriage questions sent to us. Here are two sessions:

We’re striving for one live session each Thursday night at 7PM PST. After we finish, I upload each video to our Marriage God’s Way YouTube channel. Please subscribe to make sure you don’t miss any videos!

marriage-gods-way-author-scott-lapierre - answer marriage questionsI have to say this is much more in Katie’s comfort zone than mine. I like to plan things out in detail. By the time I preach a sermon, I like to have invested a lot of time polishing it. I wouldn’t mind the videos so much if they weren’t live. The inability to start over is particularly nerve-wracking, but this is the only way to participate with us. People can post thoughts, questions, contributions, etc in the comments section while we’re recording.

Below are the three most recent videos we’ve done. I’ll provide a brief explanation of each, so you can decide which to watch.

Marriage Tips from Marriage God’s Way 

Katie and I shared two tips from my book:

  1. Wives, embrace your husband’s leadership style, from Chapter Fourteen.
  2. Husbands, you get the wife you prepare for yourself, from Chapter Nine. Ephesians 5:26-27 says Christ “sanctifies and cleanses the church…that He might present her to Himself a glorious [bride]”. Christ gets the church He prepares for Himself, and since this is a marriage passage it contains the same application for husbands with their wives.

Continue reading We want to answer marriage questions on Facebook Live!

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Book Review of Reflecting Christmas by Matthew J. Elliott

I was given the opportunity to review Reflecting Christmas by Matthew J. Elliott. Matthew is the founder of Love the Saints Ministries, a website committed to “Encouraging Believers Every Step of the Way.”

Christmas is the most well-known, and popular holiday in the world. While cultures are separated by vast differences, no matter where you go, you’ll find people who celebrate this holiday. In Reflecting Christmas, Matthew looks to the Christ behind all the traditions and practices.

The Content of Reflecting Christmas

Reflecting Christmas by Matthew J. Elliot
Reflecting Christmas by Matthew J. Elliott

Matthew looks at the different symbols related to Christmas. He sees Christ in each of them and also discusses the way some of them illustrate our relationships to God. For example:

  • In the evergreen Christmas tree he sees a picture of Jesus’ lordship.
  • The bells of Christmas signify joy, like those rung at toasts or weddings. They remind us that the holiday is a celebration.
  • He sees in the wreath a picture of the crown of thorns on Christ’s head.
  • The Poinsettia looks back to the Star of Bethlehem.
  • The lights of Christmas remind us that Jesus is the “Light of the World” (John 8:12). Matthew moves beyond that to remind followers of Christ that we too are called to be the “light of the world” (Matthew 5:14-16).
  • The colors of Christmas are primarily green and red. Green, reminds us of freshness and new life. This reminds us of the spiritually new life we have in Christ.

Although I am only discussing these symbols, obviously if you’d like to know about them in more detail, you need to purchase the book.

Matthew’s style in Reflecting Christmas

Continue reading Book Review of Reflecting Christmas by Matthew J. Elliott

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Reformation Day and the Five Solas

Five Solas marriage-gods-way-author-scott-lapierreUnfortunately, Halloween comes to mind when many people think of October 31st. This date actually looks back on one of the most dramatic moments in church history. On this day in 1517 Martin Luther nailed his list of grievances against the Catholic Church to the door of a chapel in Wittenberg, Germany. These Ninety-Five Theses became the catalyst for the Reformation, which produced the Five Solas.

Martin Luther spoke one of my favorite quotes when the Catholic Church threatened to excommunicate him. He said:

Unless I am convinced by Scripture and plain reason – I do not accept the authority of the Popes and councils, for they have contradicted each other – my conscience is captive to the Word of God. I cannot and I will not recant anything for to go against conscience is neither right nor safe. God help me. Amen.

The Catholic Church was unable to defend their false teaching with Scripture or respond to Luther’s criticisms. On May 25, 1521 Luther was declared an outlaw and his literature was banned. The Catholic Church said, “We want him to be apprehended and punished as a notorious heretic.” It was a crime for anyone in Germany to give him food or shelter.

Jesus said, “I will build My church, and the gates of Hades shall not prevail against it” (Matthew 16:18). It’s hard to argue there are more significant fulfillments of this promise than the victory God produced through Martin Luther. When October 31st rolls around each year we would do well to think not of Halloween, but of the Reformation and the Five Solas.

In honor of the Reformation I want to provide a brief summary of each of the Five Solas!

1. The Five Solas: Sola Fide—“Faith Alone”

This excludes any works from being necessary for salvation. Justification – or being declared righteous by God – is received by faith only, apart from anything man can do. At the time the Catholic Church emphasized the use of indulgences (donated money) to purchase status, and even forgiveness, with God. Works, such as baptism and other sacraments, were seen as required for salvation. Continue reading Reformation Day and the Five Solas

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The One Thing to Avoid When Judging

marriage-gods-way-author-scott-lapierre-judgingIn Matthew 7:1 Jesus said, “Judge not, that you be not judged.” Last post, 3 Truths About Judgingdiscussed what this verse is not saying: judging is wrong. So what is it saying? The primary rule for interpreting Scripture is to look at context. Let the Bible be the commentary on the Bible. Matthew 7:2 says:

For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. 

We will be judged with the same standard we use with others

If you judge someone for doing something, you better make sure you don’t do it. If you judge people for:

  • Lying, you better not lie
  • Losing their tempers, you better not lose your temper
  • Being late late, you better be on time
  • Watching or listening to things they shouldn’t, you better not watch or listen to anything compromising
  • Gossiping, you better not gossip
  • Not serving, you better be a servant

There’s nothing wrong with saying something is sin, but there is something wrong with saying something is sin while committing the same sin yourself. It’s similar to Romans 2:1: Continue reading The One Thing to Avoid When Judging

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3 Truths About Judging

marriage-gods-way-author-scott-lapierre-judgingLast post discussed what correcting people is: loving. This post will discuss what it is not. Unfortunately, if you correct some people you’ll often be criticized for judging.

In Matthew 7:1 Jesus said, “Judge not, that you be not judged.” This verse might have the distinction of being the most misunderstood and misinterpreted in all of Scripture. There are people who have never opened a Bible, but if they’re confronted they’re going to respond with some version of Jesus’ words.

When Jessica Simpson received criticism from the Christian community she said, “It didn’t really surprise me because I grew up with a lot of that backlash. That’s why I didn’t end up going into the Christian music industry. I think that if they’re really good Christians the judgment wouldn’t be there.” That pretty much sums up the attitude of many people. This is the mentality in the world, and unfortunately it can even be a mentality that creeps into the church.

1. Judging is something everyone does

Some people love to throw out Matthew 7:1 as though you can never say anything is wrong. But there is a real inconsistency – and even hypocrisy – with these people. Those who condemn others for judging do plenty of judging themselves. If you asked some of these people, “Is it wrong to murder, abuse children, or steal from others?” unless there is something wrong with them, they’re going to say, “Yes.” In answering in the affirmative they are judging. Continue reading 3 Truths About Judging

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3 Ways to Cultivate Friendship in Marriage

Relationships that continue to find ways to cultivate friendship in marriage are stronger than those that do not. Working to be best friends with your spouse is so important for satisfaction in the relationship. Doing life with someone you like spending time with is like a balm to your soul.

Another thing to think about here is the point the Scott makes in his book, Marriage God’s Way. He says:

 

Reviews of Marriage-Gods-Way-author-Scott-LaPierre-front-coverIt is natural to focus on the romance- eros (physical attraction or romantic love) of a marriage. But in doing so, we forget that marriage should actually be the union of two best friends. In many ways, phileo (a strong affection towards a friend) is a great description of what marriage should be: a deep and close friendship….

Of greater relevance to marriage is the fact that phileo is the love wives are instructed to have for their husbands. When Titus 2:3-4 commands older women to admonish younger women to love their husbands, the Greek word used is philandros- a combination of the words phileo and aner (Greek word for husband).

Friendship is certainly a need for your marriage. So how do you cultivate that in your relationship? Here are some ways you can do that.

1. Cultivate Friendship in Marriage Through Shared Experiences

Simply living in the same house doesn’t necessarily equal shared experiences. Some things will happen naturally, but to cultivate a deeper relationship, you have to become more intentional.

Set aside specific time to do things together. If you and your spouse do not have the same idea of fun, then plan to take turns doing the activity the other one likes.

Striking a balance with your shared experiences is important. Both of you need the freedom to suggest things you like doing and have the other go along with it. Best friends are just happy to be spending time together, whether the activity is their favorite or not. Continue reading 3 Ways to Cultivate Friendship in Marriage

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Correcting People Is Loving

marriage-gods-way-author-scott-lapierre-correcting peopleLast post discussed the importance of correcting people, something largely ignored by the world. Our culture often says “love” means letting people do whatever they want whether it is detrimental to them or anyone else. Disagreeing with someone’s choices or lifestyle makes you at best unloving, and at worst hateful. This logic demands sitting back silently while people make decisions that are detrimental to them or others.

The Bible, on the other hand, points out the logical reality that love demands correcting people:

Proverbs 9:8 Do not correct a scoffer, lest he hate you;
rebuke a wise man, and he will love you.

He will love you, because he has the wisdom to recognize you have done him a favor.

Correcting People: The Behavior of Friends Versus Enemies

David saw it as an act of love to be rebuked by someone: Continue reading Correcting People Is Loving

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3 Reasons Giving Correction Is Important

marriage-gods-way-author-scott-lapierre - giving correctionGiving correction is vitally important to the health and joy of marriages, families, churches, businesses, teams, etc. You name it – any group or organization that involves relationships – requires giving correction.

Why is that? We’re sinners. We sin against others and others sin against us. We have to be able to give correction to others, and we have to allow others to correct us. Here are three reasons this is so important!

1. Giving correction protects against bitterness.

When people sin against us, it can create an offense. We have to talk to the person that upset us. The alternative allows bitterness to develop, and it can have far-reaching consequences:

Hebrews 12:15b Lest any root of bitterness spring up causing trouble, and by this many become defiled.

Nothing ruins relationships faster than having an offense but not going to the person that offended you. The hurt festers creating anger and hostility. Continue reading 3 Reasons Giving Correction Is Important

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Top Three Things I Learned From My Dad, John LaPierre

marriage-gods-way-author-scott-lapierre-2-jpg
Lots of wonderful friends came out to surprise my dad, John LaPierre, on his 65th birthday.

Friday night was my dad’s surprise 65th birthday party. Different people took turns standing sharing about him, and it was very touching. I’m thankful for all the wonderful friends God has put in my parents’ lives. Also, my dad is a really wonderful man, and it blessed me to see how many others recognize that. I concluded the time of sharing, discussing the top three things I learned from my dad.

First, Dad taught us to work hard

Front view of the house I grew up in from our visit in 2014.
Front view of the house I grew up in from our visit in 2014.

My dad is one of the hardest workers I’ve ever met. When people shared about my dad, this was the most common thing they said, pointing out how he’s such a servant.

When I was growing up, I don’t remember much sitting around. We grew up in the mountains, and it seemed like Dad always had work for us to do. While most of my friends looked forward to summers, I remember thinking it just meant more work around the house. I tried to get a job as soon as I could, because at least then I would make money while working :). Continue reading Top Three Things I Learned From My Dad, John LaPierre

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Why we should follow the script (or Scripture)

Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons
Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons

We homeschool our children, taking them through Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons when they’re around four. We’ve been pleased with the book, including the way the instruction is presented like a script. The words Katie is supposed to say are in red, and our child’s responses are in black. There’s a response provided if a child answers correctly, and a different response if a child answers incorrectly.

“Don’t deviate from the script!”

Corrective Reading
Corrective Reading

When I taught elementary school, I was taught a very similar program, called Corrective Reading. I remember thinking at the training, “Anyone could do this!” One of the most common instructions they told us was, “Don’t deviate from the script.”

Unfortunately, when I went back to the classroom to teach my own students there were times I completely disregarded the instruction I was given:

  • Sometimes I thought something was unnecessary.
  • Sometimes I thought I could say it better myself.
  • Sometimes I thought it would be better if I added something.

Here’s what I noticed very quickly:

  • When I followed the script, things went well.
  • When I deviated from the script, there were problems.

If I had to say why I deviated from the script, I believe the answer is obvious. I thought I knew better than the author. Continue reading Why we should follow the script (or Scripture)