Developing a strong marriage takes daily investment– you can’t set it and forget it. Relationships are ever changing, because people and life are ever changing. With intentional changes, you can build a stronger marriage and go deeper with your spouse.
Here are 3 ways you can build a stronger marriage-
1. Give Them the Benefit of the Doubt
There are going to be times in which your spouse says or does something that hurts your feelings. It can be easy to jump to conclusions that they did the offensive thing on purpose. Just because they know you better than anyone else, doesn’t mean that they always know how their actions will affect you.
Instead of concluding that they did something intentionally, give them the benefit of the doubt. Believing that they meant to hurt you will cause your defenses to go up. Going to them about an issue when you are defensive will usually lead to unnecessary fighting.
Rather than believing that they were trying to hurt you, consider that they did it unknowingly. Your spouse is not your enemy, but you can make them out to be if you don’t give them the benefit of the doubt.
2. Become a Lifelong Student of Your Spouse
My husband, Austin, says that I’m his favorite subject and that he is committed to studying me for the rest of his life. Boy do I give him a lot to learn.
Even if you have known your spouse for a long time, it doesn’t mean that you have them all figured out. They change- you change- everything changes.
If you commit to being a lifelong student of your spouse, then you when those changes happen, you will know it. Committing to studying them will keep you connected. The moment you assume there is nothing new left to learn about them, is the moment you will start drifting apart.
Scott LaPierre talks about this in his book, Marriage God’s Way:
- Genesis 2:18 reveals wives were created to be their husband’s helper. The only way a wife can help her husband well is if she’s familiar with his strengths and weaknesses.
- In 1 Peter 3:7 husbands are commanded to dwell with their wife in understanding, or with knowledge. This requires husbands have a knowledge or understanding of their wife. How do they obtain that? By studying them!
3. Put an End to Busyness
Being busy is a badge of honor that many people wear, but it can quickly destroy your relationship. To have a strong marriage, you need time to invest in one another. It is vital to spend uninterrupted time together on a regular basis.
In order to stop being so busy, it will require you both making intentional decisions to say “no”. Before either of you agree to a commitment, discuss it. Be willing to hear your spouse tell you their honest opinion about taking on the responsibility.
Carve out time to be together where you put electronic devices down, cut off the television, and send the kids away. By spending intentional time together, you have the ability to connect emotionally, spiritually, and physically. All of these components are necessary for a strong relationship.
There are many things you can do to have a better marriage, but these are great places to start. What are ways you build a stronger relationship?
Keelie is married to her high school sweetheart and is the mom of three awesome boys. She is a creator and loves sharing with the world around her. One of her biggest passions is to help married couples fall deeper in love with one another. She offers free printables to help the marriage relationship. You can read her marriage tips at Love Hope Adventure.